I know; that’s a lot of questions. They are ones that make me squirm. I have to answer YES to ALL of them. This past week I struggled with doubt, my insecurities, and negative thoughts. The devil knows exactly how to get to me and those three things make me an easy target. When you add “alone” time to this I become an easy prey. So, if you will allow me to rewind the clock and start where my struggle began.
Last Wednesday, I had a big step in my faith. Things were great and I was so blessed that my eyes wouldn’t stop tearing up. I woke up Thursday feeling the same way. I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Friday rolled around and things started to change for me. My thoughts turned negative and I was so full of doubt. By Saturday morning my thoughts were out of control. I finally broke down and wrote a prayer. (I’ll share it later) I started to feel better and was busy being a mommy. Sunday was great and I truly enjoyed church, but by the evening my thoughts were back. Monday, UGH MONDAY, I was good at work until lunch. By the time I made it home from work I wasn’t in a good mood. Then, finally-A Break Through- Tuesday brought renewed hope, no doubts, no negative thoughts and no insecurity issues.
I shared all of this with you so I could say beware of Satan. The Bible tells us this: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 NIV) I was that someone. I had a great step forward in my walk and the devil didn’t like it. He was ready to attack and I wasn’t alert. Here’s the formula that was used against me. I was alone from Wednesday-Saturday because my husband was at a conference. This meant just me and the kids but when bedtime came I had “alone” time; which allowed my mind to work overtime. I can picture the devil now, setting those darts on fire and sending ‘em my way. I have been in this battle of the mind before, but this time I did somethings I hadn’t done before. I prayed, ask friends to pray for me, read my Bible, prayed some more and blasted, yes blasted; Christian music like I was back in high school jamming to my favorite song. I did these things as often as I could. I had a break through Tuesday and a victory over the devil. I kept trudging on, trying my best to not let this struggle get the best of me and God showed me how the devil was getting me. God is faithful! The devil took my insecurities, the changes in my life, combined the two and sent fiery darts labeled DOUBT into my mind.
I felt led to share this with you, because I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. (At least I don’t think so) Keep renewing your mind with God’s word each day. Pray and ask others to pray for you. There is no shame in it. I’m so thankful I have people in my life who pray when I ask them to. God will help you, no matter how small your struggle seems to be. When you fall prey to the devil remember to pray. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)
Here's my Poem/Prayer from Saturday morning:
God in Heaven,
Lord above,
The One who watches over me with Love....
Guard my thoughts,
Guard my mind,
Lord, please Satan bind,
So my soul may rest,
So he will flee,
And your peace will live within me.
~ Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment