Look Into My Eyes

     Look into my eyes...tell me what you see...do you really look into someone's eyes long enough to see what's there? Why do we look away so quickly? Are we afraid of what they think of us, or maybe what they just saw? I can tell you why I look away quickly. It’s because the eyes are the window to our souls. I don’t like to make eye contact because the other person might see more than what I want them to. It has nothing to do with respect or lack thereof, for me anyways.

    If this looks familiar it’s because it came from my previous post. I had someone point out this was good and asked me to dig a little deeper. I promised I would…and to be honest I have been putting this post off, because it means once again I have to open up and expose myself to you…the reader. I also have to answer the question…why do I look away so quickly. When discussing this with my husband he asked, "is it what you say or is it because you are afraid of what you will see in others?" So, I’m going to dig a little deeper. Will you join me?

    Why do we look away so quickly? I’ll come back to this or possibly answer it as I go. I asked two questions in one …Are we afraid of what they think of us, or maybe what they just saw? The answer is YES! I can’t speak for you and I won’t, but I can speak for me. I am afraid of what the person just saw, mainly because I’m not sure what they saw. Did the person just see the kid inside of me who was hurt and still shows up every once in a while? Did the person see my light, my Jesus living inside of me? Oh, yes please be that one!!! Did the person see the person I’m becoming, the overcomer, the new creation that God is constantly working on? Yea, that’s a good one too! Did the person see the doubt in my eyes, the lack of confidence, and the one who thinks I’m not good enough? Or maybe the person saw that if you take the time to get to know me I’d do anything for you. I can’t be sure what someone sees when they look into my eyes. I hope it’s the better ones, but then again, if they see the lack of confidence and doubt maybe they would realize I’m a real person. A real person with feelings, who is just trying to show others the love of Jesus and doesn't feel like I'm doing a good job. I don’t think we will ever truly know what a person sees or thinks of us. The question I must ask here is does it matter? I’m not trying to step on toes, I’m mainly talking to myself right now. I find when something goes completely opposite of what I had planned or meant for it to…I tell myself what really matters is God knows my heart.

    Oh, this just hit me…maybe I look away because someone might want to ask me a question. You know the ones that make us squirm a little. Like why are you smiling? Or, do you believe in God? Do you believe in Jesus? Do you have some money? Look away….walk away…..RUN!!! I can answer these question when I’m writing, but what if I don’t have the right answers? I pray that I become bolder and will look people in their eyes longer. I have the answers, I know what I would say, but why am I so afraid? I do not deny my faith or my God. I am more afraid of what the repercussion will be for saying yes, yes, yes I believe.

I apologize for the rambling…now back to my husband’s question. Am I afraid of what I will see in others? This might have been the case a few months ago, but not since I have started my new job. When you look someone in the eyes you can see what’s there. I have seen hurt, fear and a need of acceptance. Funny, that’s what I just spent two paragraphs saying. The older I get, the more I take the time to visit with others, the more I see we all have been hurt, we all have a fear (more than one), we all want acceptance. The answer to our hurt, the peace that conquers our fear, and the acceptance we all seek can only be found in one…The ONE….his name is Jesus.

   When I look into my eyes I see my past, my sins, and a few accomplishments. When you look into my eyes…well only you know what you see. I have spent a good portion of my life building up walls. These walls were meant to keep me from getting hurt, to keep others from letting me hurt them. That's why I don't look others in the eyes very long...you see...the eyes are the windows to our souls. If you look long enough, you will see the real me. I've been working on just being me and not putting up walls. Here, is the next step in letting God have control...let others, not just those at church or at home, but everyone see ME, not only me but JESUS living in me. I’m going to take a risk, I’m going to do my best to look others in their eyes and not look away so quickly. When we get caught up in what others think, we aren’t doing what we are called to do. Let’s do what Hebrews 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” Will you let others see the "real" you? Until next time“May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

I think this song by Francesca Battistelli says it better...what do you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBY3f9IHyFM

L.O.V.E.

Love
Others  and
Value
Everyone

“The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)

Love isn’t always easy and it’s a word that I’m leery of using. Why? We overuse the word. We love our family. We love our friends. We love God. We love our car, shoes and our food. Personally, I have tried to not use the word love so much. Instead I say I really like Mexican food and I really like my car, but there are times I slip up and say I love something when it’s really a major like. There are different types of love and I get that, but if we use love for every good feeling then it loses its value. We know love, because God first loved us. Love isn’t easy because we have to put ourselves out there and we might get hurt. It’s also not easy because not everyone is easy to love. Which brings me to ……

Others, who is others? This is your brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandma, grandpa, husband, wife, son, daughter, friend and neighbor. We know this and do the best we can when it comes to family and friends, but what about the stranger? The one you just made eye contact with but quickly looked away. Why do we look away so quickly? Are we afraid of what they think of us, or maybe what they just saw? I can tell you why I look away quickly. It’s because the eyes are the window to our souls. I don’t like to make eye contact because the other person might see more than what I want them to. It has nothing to do with respect or lack thereof, for me anyways. So, how can we love strangers? There are many ways, but an easy way to show God’s love is to smile. When you look the stranger in the eye, and before you quickly look away….smile. You never know what this person is going through and your smile just might brighten their day and show them they are valued.

Value: How can we value people we are close to and those who fall under the stranger category? The first thing to remember is, “God so loved the world”. It doesn’t say He loves only me and the people who are close to my heart. He said he loves the world, and that means everyone in it. I may not agree with everyone (trust me, I don’t) but that doesn’t mean they are less valuable. God created each one of us and that means we are all valuable. So, how do we show it? R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sing it with me) Respecting others isn’t always easy but a few pointers are watch what you say, especially when you don’t agree with them. Be kind to others, even when they are being rude to you, which is usually easier said than done. This goes for everyone….

Everyone you come into contact with deserves love, not your love but God’s love. The only way we can show love is by having the Holy Spirit living in us. Everyone needs to know they are loved, cared for and valued. How? How? How? Encourage someone, if you aren’t sure how, just let them know you appreciate them. It could be something as simple as thanking them for helping clean the house. I challenge you to encourage at least one person a week, but I bet you could surpass this and encourage one person a day. Don’t worry about how it is taken or what they will think. Give God the glory and honor and He will take care of the rest.

Try to Love

       Others and

        Value

       Everyone today.

“If I speak human or angelic languages but do not have love,I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

The task set before us is daunting and tiring but keep moving…keep going. You have the “God of angel armies” by your side. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

Perfection

      This post has been bouncing around in my head for a few weeks now. What is perfection? Is it a day without struggle? Maybe it’s your mom’s cooking? How about the 100 your child made on a paper? For the most part perfection is speculative. What you see as perfect may not be what I see as perfect.
      Again, I ask, what is perfection? Can I be perfect? Where do I look for these answers? For the sake of this post I’m going to use the third definition from dictionary.com as perfection meaning: “a perfect embodiment or example of something.” There is only one person who has walked this earth that is perfect. His name is Jesus Christ. I can find this in the New Testament of the Bible.  “For in bringing many sons to glory, it was entirely appropriate that God-all things exist for Him and through Him-should make the source of their salvation perfect through sufferings.” (Hebrews 2:10, HCSB) Our source of salvation is Jesus and this is where we should find our example of perfection. Jesus is the one we should be measuring ourselves to. I’m going to step on some toes (put on the steal toed boots) and say no one is perfect other than God. Ouch! Sorry, but it’s true. Hang with me a little longer…Hebrews 6:11 says, “If perfection could have been attained through Levitical priesthood, why was there still need for another priest to come….” (NIV) The priest is Jesus and the Levitical priesthood is talking about the laws in the Old Testament. If we were able to live perfectly we wouldn’t need a savior.
       I use to struggle with trying to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect, still do, but I realized I can’t be perfect on this earth. I can strive for perfection, which I should, but I have to accept I will mess up. What happens after you mess up is really matters. When I mess up I need to ask forgiveness and move on. I can’t dwell on it. One day, when I am called home, I will be made perfect and Oh, what a day that will be. Until then, I will keep striving for perfection and looking to Jesus. So, give yourself a break-accept that you will mess up. Allow God to use those moments to mold you into the person He wants you to be. This my friends is life, how are you living for him? I want to leave you with this:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV) 

Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

Share and Heal

   Are you wandering through this journey on earth alone? Are you intentionally walking with your head down, so no one will notice you? Do you put your walls up to keep your heart safe? Let me encourage you to stop doing these things. Let me ask, who are you hurting by being this way? What do you have to lose or better yet what do those around you stand to lose because you are “protecting” yourself? I’m willing to bet you are fun to be around.
    All of my posts are about my thoughts and things that have happened in my life or are happening in my life. This one is no different, but before I go any further I must tell you God is moving and pushing, and yes at times pulling me out of my comfort zone. This blog was just the beginning…and now it’s time for me to do what I just encouraged you to stop doing. Although I am happily married to my wonderful husband of ten years, at times I would feel like I’m wandering this earth alone. (I no longer feel this way, but it has taken years for this to happen.) I have always, until just recently, walked with my head down. Why? So no one would notice me, I don’t want the attention of others and certainly didn’t want to be judged by others. I do my best to walk with my head up. I still find myself walking with my head down, but I can’t help but want to keep my head up, smile and look others in the eye. Why, because I am secure in who I am. I am a child of the ONE TRUE KING and if I smile at someone it just might give them a hope that wasn’t there before I smiled. Now, I don’t mean that to sound conceded. I can’t fix others problems but I sure can share who can fix their problems and I can ease those struggles just for a second with a smile. I am the person who puts walls up and not just one wall but layer upon layer of walls up.  It takes time for someone to knock down all the layers I put up. I can say here lately there hasn’t been as many layers to knock down and that is because I feel the only way to do what I’m called to do …love others…is to be me, not just a piece of me but all of me. I’m the new person in several circles right now. It’s not easy being the new person and I don’t like putting myself out there. The one thing I try very hard at is to just be myself, at all times. (WARNING: I’m not saying to trust everyone, please don’t! I’m saying be who you are and let God guide you to the ones you can trust. He will show you the right people; I know this because He is showing me.)
      Now, for the part I set out to write: 
        Over the past couple of weeks I have had the privilege of eating lunch with several ladies. It has been fun and I’ve learned a lot. Let me say, God has stretched me in this and pushed me out of my comfort zone. Through these “meetings” I have come to the conclusion that people my age and older grew up not telling or sharing their stories. We just didn’t talk about things, especially our parents and grandparents. We were taught to show others everything was “fine”. If something happened in your family you didn’t air the dirty laundry. I’m not saying that we should air our dirty laundry to everyone but I do believe we are called to share our stories and our struggles with those we are comfortable with. In my case, I am sharing even if I don’t feel comfortable because that is what God is calling me to do.  We don’t need to push down or hide our struggles. This can cause our pain to fester and boil over and the pain trickles down to our loved ones. How much hurt and pain could have been healed if only we would’ve shared? How much damage has this done to our walk or to our reputations as a Christian body? If we as Christians walk around saying we are fine all the time, what are we telling those who are lost in this world? Again, I’m not saying you should walk around telling everyone your story but you should share your story. You may be surprised and find that you feel better when you do share. Sharing your story is scary because you become vulnerable. If you can push past the fear of what the other person will think of you and share your story and your struggles not only will you feel a sense of freedom but you could possibly give the other person a glimpse of hope and acceptance.
Have you noticed most women need other women in their lives? I don’t mean just acquaintances. I mean we all need women we share our lives with from the small, silly details to the big I can’t believe this is happening to me details (good and bad). We need women who will go shopping, listen, drink coffee, listen, encourage, listen, pick us up, listen, push us, listen and cheer us on. This list can go on forever but I think you get the point. Did you notice I kept putting listen?  There is a reason we need each other. When we share our stories we allow others to know us on a more intimate level, but we also allow those with similar stories to feel like they are not alone. We need to share our past, present and our dreams. So today, I encourage you to stop pushing your struggles and your story aside. Share your wounds and watch God heal them. Listen to God’s guidance and share with those He is leading you to share with. Let those chains fall and become free from your past and present struggles…God will heal, God will save, Trust in Him and keep walking. (With your head up!) Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

You are not alone

       Alone, this word makes me sad. This is because I have felt alone most of my life.  I struggle with being alone because that’s when my negative thoughts tend to take over. Let me share the definitions of alone from Merriam-Webster.com:
    1. Without anyone or anything else: not involving or including anyone or anything else: separate from other people or things.
    2. Without people that you know or that usually are with you
    3. Feeling unhappy because of being separated from other people.
      I’m not going to sit here and say I don’t like being alone because there are times that I love being alone. When I am alone though, I know I have to guard my mind. The devil likes it when I’m alone because I tend to get caught in his traps of negative thoughts and doubtful thinking. Fortunately, I am able to recognize the lies quicker than I use to. (I still struggle but not as much as I use to) The devil wants you to believe you are alone but God tells us differently. God says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) God said it to Joshua when the Israelites were to go into the Promised Land and He means it for us today.
      Even when you are alone, without another person physically around you; you are not alone. Jesus is with you. We may feel we have no one who understands us but we have Jesus. I use to be upset when others would say, “I know; I’ve had that happen to me.” I was upset because I wanted to be alone in my struggle. This is what the devil wants for you too. He wants you to feel alone and hopeless. If we believe no one knows what I’m going through then we get lost in our sorrows. Now that I’m older and closer to God, I am glad to hear someone else struggles with the same thing or things as me. Why? It’s not because I’m cruel and excited they struggle. No, it’s because I know on some level they will understand what I’m going through. They can help me, listen to me and most importantly pray for me. God did not create us to live like islands on this earth, although I would be much more comfortable if He did. He created us to need each other. We are to carry each other’s burdens.  “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) God puts people in our lives for a reason. Jennie Allen says, “Every one of us has people in our lives whom we need and people who need us.” (Restless, p. 131) We need both types of people so we son't feel alone and also to keep us balanced. I am so thankful that I am never alone. I am at a point in my life where I am intentionally looking for people to join me in my journey. This is mainly because God keeps pointing people out to me and pushing me towards them. (I’m not always eager about this) I can’t say it any better than Jennie Allen:

“We need people who will put their fingers under our chins and lift our heads. I need people ahead of me, shouting back it is worth it. I need deep, kindred souls beside me, making the run more fun and helping me not to feel crazy and alone.” (Restless, p.132)

    I, like Jennie, need these different people in my life. I have been trusting God in pointing these people out to me. I can’t say I know which one they are for sure, but I listen carefully to His voice directing me to these people. Do you have these people in your life? Do you make time for the new people God puts in your life? Do you reach back to encourage others? Do you shout ahead for hope and encouragement? Do you wrap your arms around those beside you? We all need to be pushed, pulled and supported. It’s the only way to ensure that being alone doesn’t take over. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

Sea Turtles

    This will probably seem a bit odd, but hang with me…please. I woke up this morning with this topic on my mind. So, to not postpone any longer…here it goes:
      The life of a sea turtle starts off in a shell that is in a pit. The turtle has to break the shell to start its life. Once out of the shell it has to climb out of the pit. As if this wasn’t hard enough, this little baby has to make its way to the ocean without being eaten. These little turtles are easy prey for crabs and sea gulls. Once they make it to the water it would seem like smooth sailing, but it’s not. The little ones have to learn how to survive in the ocean. They learn where the food is and where safety can be found. The turtles learn what animals are friendly and the ones that will harm them.
       As a Christian I feel like I can compare my life to a sea turtle. Like the sea turtle; the only way for survival in this world is to make it to the Living Water. The Living Water, also known as Jesus Christ, is my life source. He guides me, just like the currents in the ocean guides the sea turtles. I can find shelter in Jesus just like the turtles find shelter in the ocean. The sea turtle is fed, nourished, and grows in the waters of the ocean. As long as I have Jesus in me, I read my Bible, pray and attend church; I am being fed, nourished and will grow in my faith. I’ve had to allow the Holy Spirit to break my shell so He could help me climb out of the pit I was in.  As Christians, we are called to deny self and take up the cross. This is easier said than done and we all know our journey to accepting Jesus can be full of obstacles that try to keep us from the Living Water. Once we accept Jesus and have the Living Water as our life source attacks will still come. Like the turtle, we have to learn how to navigate this new life. We will have people who appear friendly turn out to be not so friendly. We will have sharks in our lives and of course the storms that rage. When this happens seek shelter, guidance and protection from the Living Water. Living in the water doesn’t mean smooth sailing for the turtle and that goes for us as Christians too. The struggles we go through once we are in the water make us stronger and shows us in our weakness He is strong. We can’t go through life without struggles but we can completely trust and lean on Jesus. In the words of Dory from Finding Nemo: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming!” Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

Point Taken

     Have you ever read something in a book then had someone else tell you the same thing? That’s happened to me several times, but today a light bulb went off when it happened. Some people would call this a coincidence but I say that’s God talking to me. Let me explain…..
      I am reading a book written by Jennie Allen called Restless Because You Were Made For More. This book is digging in my life to the point of making me uncomfortable, but she asks very thought provoking questions. This morning, before I left for church I read a chapter and the one question that stuck out was, “What has God given you to bring him glory here?” In other words what are you good at? What gifts do you have that God has blessed you with? God has been talking to me and was talking very loudly this morning. I was upset with God this morning for asking me to do something I wasn’t ready to do. (Yes, I have asked for forgiveness and yes, I did what He wanted me to do….with almost a smile on my face) I say this, to say I really didn’t think much on that question. My mind was busy with other things this morning. Then low and behold, my Pastor asked almost the same question in his sermon. His question was worded like this, “What tools do you have to reach others?” Whoa, put the brakes on!! When I hear/read the same thing coming in the form of drawing me closer to God it makes my wheels spin.
       The first thing that I think is; is God trying to tell me something? In this instance I can say, I know God is calling me to do something. That something is to speak and write. I’m scared of this but have accepted it and am waiting to see when and where. By accepting this, I have started on a journey that only God could’ve orchestrated. I’m not always eager to be on this journey and here lately I just want to throw my hands up, put my walls up, with draw and say I’m done! When I start feeling like this, I remember that getting out of my comfort zone isn’t going to be easy. I will be attacked with all sorts of things to keep me from doing God’s will. I also remind myself that I put my TRUST in Christ and I know it will all be okay. I may not feel like it is okay at the moment or that I am truly doing what He asks, but I know He is guiding my steps. The best thing for me to do is keep walking, to keep stepping out of my comfort zone no matter how nauseous it makes me, and to not withdraw. God will show me who to trust, and what to do. Actually, He has told me some things already. Right now, as I write this I’m so insecure in what He is calling me to do, but rest assure I’m still walking and talking with Him.
        How different would this world be if we all used our God given gifts for His kingdom? What if we all said, God whatever you ask me to do I’ll do it? So what if we are insecure and scared. God will show you what He wants you to do and He will equip you too. We all have something to give. Forgive me for repeating myself but I ask, what gifts do you have that can be used to reach others for God’s glory? Are you using them? Will you allow God to use you for His kingdom? Just my thoughts and a little glimpse into my life… Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)