Look into my eyes...tell me what you see...do you really look into someone's eyes long enough to see what's there? Why do we look away so quickly? Are
we afraid of what they think of us, or maybe what they just saw? I can tell you
why I look away quickly. It’s because the eyes are the window to our souls. I
don’t like to make eye contact because the other person might see more than
what I want them to. It has nothing to do with respect or lack thereof, for me
anyways.
If this looks familiar it’s because
it came from my previous post. I had someone point out this was good and asked me
to dig a little deeper. I promised I would…and to be honest I have been putting
this post off, because it means once again I have to open up and expose myself to
you…the reader. I also have to answer the question…why do I look away so
quickly. When discussing this with my husband he asked, "is it what you say or is
it because you are afraid of what you will see in others?" So, I’m going to dig
a little deeper. Will you join me?
Why do we look away so quickly? I’ll
come back to this or possibly answer it as I go. I asked two questions in one …Are
we afraid of what they think of us, or maybe what they just saw? The answer is
YES! I can’t speak for you and I won’t, but I can speak for me. I am afraid of
what the person just saw, mainly because I’m not sure what they saw. Did the
person just see the kid inside of me who was hurt and still shows up every once
in a while? Did the person see my light, my Jesus living inside of me? Oh, yes
please be that one!!! Did the person see the person I’m becoming, the
overcomer, the new creation that God is constantly working on? Yea, that’s a
good one too! Did the person see the doubt in my eyes, the lack of confidence, and
the one who thinks I’m not good enough? Or maybe the person saw that if you
take the time to get to know me I’d do anything for you. I can’t be sure what someone
sees when they look into my eyes. I hope it’s the better ones, but then again,
if they see the lack of confidence and doubt maybe they would realize I’m a
real person. A real person with feelings, who is just trying to show others the
love of Jesus and doesn't feel like I'm doing a good job. I don’t think we will ever truly know what a person sees or
thinks of us. The question I must ask here is does it matter? I’m not trying to
step on toes, I’m mainly talking to myself right now. I find when something
goes completely opposite of what I had planned or meant for it to…I tell myself
what really matters is God knows my heart.
Oh, this just hit me…maybe I look
away because someone might want to ask me a question. You know the ones that
make us squirm a little. Like why are you smiling? Or, do you believe in God?
Do you believe in Jesus? Do you have some money? Look away….walk away…..RUN!!!
I can answer these question when I’m writing, but what if I don’t have the right
answers? I pray that I become bolder and will look people in their eyes longer.
I have the answers, I know what I would say, but why am I so afraid? I do not
deny my faith or my God. I am more afraid of what the repercussion will be for
saying yes, yes, yes I believe.
I apologize for the rambling…now back
to my husband’s question. Am I afraid of what I will see in others? This might
have been the case a few months ago, but not since I have started my new job.
When you look someone in the eyes you can see what’s there. I have seen hurt,
fear and a need of acceptance. Funny, that’s what I just spent two paragraphs
saying. The older I get, the more I take the time to visit with others, the
more I see we all have been hurt, we all have a fear (more than one), we all
want acceptance. The answer to our hurt, the peace that conquers our fear, and
the acceptance we all seek can only be found in one…The ONE….his name is Jesus.
When I look into my eyes I see my
past, my sins, and a few accomplishments. When you look into my eyes…well only
you know what you see. I have spent a good portion of my life building up walls. These walls were meant to keep me from getting hurt, to keep others from letting me hurt them. That's why I don't look others in the eyes very long...you see...the eyes are the windows to our souls. If you look long enough, you will see the real me. I've been working on just being me and not putting up walls. Here, is the next step in letting God have control...let others, not just those at church or at home, but everyone see ME, not only me but JESUS living in me. I’m going to take a risk, I’m going to do my best to
look others in their eyes and not look away so quickly. When we get caught up
in what others think, we aren’t doing what we are called to do. Let’s do what
Hebrews 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, since we also have
such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin
that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race
that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the
source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him
endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” Will you let others see the "real" you?
I think this song by Francesca Battistelli says it better...what do you think?
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