Journey

“There's no journey like a shared one.” ~ When Hope Calls Christmas

    

   According to Merriam-Webster, a journey is an act or instance of traveling from one place to another. I don't know about you but I like to travel and I enjoy sharing the experience with my family and friends.

 I'm not talking about a vacation, for instance though; I'm talking about the journey we call life. Our journey begins the day we are born and ends when we die, at least for our bodies it ends. As we grow so does our independence, and depending on what hand we are dealt life is easy as a child or difficult. We begin to learn how to navigate this world with the help of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, coaches, and friends. 

    This journey that we are on isn’t easy and we need people on every leg of this journey. As I mentioned earlier, in the first leg of this journey we are surrounded by people who love us and do their best to guide and support us as we figure out life. As we enter the next leg of our journey, the baton is passed from family to friends as we become more independent from the adults who took care of us, and surround ourselves with friends who “get us”. Our friends on this part of our journey can help make us or break us. The people we allow in our lives are just as important as the people that we keep out of our lives. The choices we make as teenagers and young adults have a lasting impact whether we realize it or not.

    The baton is passed off to our significant other for the next leg of the journey and we begin to realize that life is not a sprint, but a marathon. The pace and stride we take begin to slow and lengthen as we make big life choices. When do we get married? How quickly do we want to start a family? Do we buy a house or rent? Is this the right career path? With all those decisions to make life can be overwhelming, especially if we choose to go at it alone. 

    Community is an important part of surviving the journey. We need like-minded people who share our beliefs and will listen to our struggles, and help us celebrate our successes. We also need people in our lives who won’t always be on our side. We need people who question us. People who won’t just go along with what we say and do, but make us stop and think about what we are doing and why we are doing it. Can I challenge you here? Intentionally seek someone who is different than you and befriend them. 

    Take this journey in stride. Allow people in your life. Seek God and ask him to show you who should be in your circle. Remember Jesus loved everyone but had a small circle of friends and an even smaller group that he knew he could rely on. Jesus had Judas in his small circle of friends, so it’s to be expected that we will have a Judas or two as well. We will face conflicts with people because we aren’t perfect and we shouldn’t expect others to be. We need to be like Jesus and love others for who they are not who we want them to be.

    I’ve always had a community that surrounds me, but I haven’t always accepted it. Acceptance. We have to accept that others want to be in our lives. We have to accept that not everyone we want to be in our lives needs to be in our lives. We have to accept that God will put people in our lives that we don’t necessarily want in our lives, but they turn out to be just the person we need for that leg of our journey. No matter the leg of the journey we are on, we should build and strengthen our community, serve and love others, and gain one more for the Kingdom of God.

    As this year comes to a close, and the new year begins I want to focus on the people that God has put in my circle. I want to create a community of people that I can enjoy this journey with. I’m not going to sit back and just be, I’m going to open the gift of life each day, and spread some cheer along the way. I will keep you posted as to how this new leg of my journey goes. Here’s to living life BIG, making changes to be better, allowing others into my circle, and sharing Jesus’ love with as many people as I can. When my journey on this earth ends I want to hear on the other side, “Good job my good and faithful servant. You ran the race well.”

Why The Donkey?

 I’ve been preparing room in my heart for Jesus this season. Today, as I was reading my devotional, my thoughts shifted from Jesus’ birth to the animal thought to carry Mary to Bethlehem and Jesus to Jerusalem. Yes, I’m talking about the donkey. I couldn’t help but think about Donkey from Shrek when I pictured the donkey, but after a quick giggle, my thoughts returned to Mary, Joseph, and their journey to Bethlehem. Donkeys are supposedly very stubborn, so why the donkey? What is the significance of Mary riding a donkey to deliver the savior of the world? 

Here’s a little tidbit that I found out about donkeys while digging to see why Joseph would put Mary on a stubborn donkey. These little guys are cute, but did you know they can weigh up to 500 pounds? Donkeys are used as pack animals; meaning that they carry goods for their owners. These animals tend to get a bad reputation for being stubborn when in all actuality they are cautious. They will stop and assess the situation when they sense they are in danger. The donkey refuses to move even when its owner tries to get it to move until it feels safe, hence the perception of stubbornness. Could it be that the donkey was the safest and most trustworthy animal to ride; especially for Mary who was nine months pregnant with the savior of the world?

The donkey prefers to walk, not run because it is very cautious about its steps and is acutely aware of its surroundings. This seemingly stubborn animal is actually not stubborn but an overthinker of sorts. I can picture the donkey plodding along the trail carrying Mary on its back being sure to not stumble. The awareness and pace of a donkey indicate that it was the perfect animal for Mary to ride for her journey to Bethlehem. 

The donkey was tasked to carry Mary to Bethelem so she could give birth to our Savior who to this day is still misunderstood. The takeaway from what I’ve learned from my tangent on donkeys is they are misunderstood; therefore they have a reputation for being stubborn and not an animal that people want to be around. I believe if you talk to someone who owns and understands a donkey they will tell you that they are loveable creatures that are simply misunderstood. 

Jesus was misunderstood, but those who spent time with him while he was on this earth realized he was something special. I don’t feel right comparing Jesus to a donkey, but it’s hard for me to not make this connection. The donkey is misunderstood and comes across as rebellious and stubborn to someone who doesn’t understand the creature. When the donkey is more reliable and trustworthy than a horse when it comes to carrying something important. Jesus seemed rebellious to the Pharisees and Sadducees, but he was the most trustworthy of all men. Jesus was carrying with him the message of hope and redemption, but he was most definitely misunderstood. 

I’m not sure of the significance of the donkey, and the last thing I want to do is make something out of nothing especially when it comes to the Bible. I’m not a theologian nor do I claim to know all the symbolism throughout the Bible. I hope this gave you some food for thought. I have a few more questions to leave you with as you ponder the significance of the donkey. How can we be more like a donkey? No, I don’t mean stubborn, as my family will tell you I’m already good in that department. How about being more trustworthy, and doing things in a calculated way that may seem odd to others but brings glory to God? After all, as Christians, we should stand out. Blessings to you my friends!

Laughter

          I’m not sure if there is anything sweeter than hearing a baby belly laugh. Their laughter instantly puts a smile on my face and puts me in a better mood. How many times a day do we laugh as adults? When was the last time you had a good laugh? You know, the laugh that has tears rolling down your cheeks, and you’re about to pee your pants. For most people, I would be willing to bet it’s been a while. We’ve all heard the old saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” so if a simple smile can make you feel better, think what a good laugh can do. Laughter really is good for the soul.

            According to Paul Osincup, a humor strategist, "Research shows that at about the age of 23, our propensity to laugh begins to evaporate, we have more responsibilities.” With this being the case, most of us lose our sense of humor early in life and spend the majority of life not laughing. We become so serious and wrapped up in life that we forget to slow down, laugh, and enjoy the little things in life. There are many benefits to laughter, and the one that stands out to me is the reduction of stress. 

            Not only does laughter reduce stress, but it helps your mental health too. In a world where our mental health is on the decline I believe it’s important to remember what we can do to help improve or maintain our mental health. Laughter doesn’t cost a thing and can be done throughout our day. Laugh…go ahead, smile… Now think of something funny and laugh. Again, I ask, how many times a day do you truly laugh? 

            I work with a great group of ladies and we laugh daily. I honestly can’t remember a day so far this school year that we haven’t laughed. I’m also blessed to have a husband who likes to make me laugh, which means I laugh at home as well. There are times that he will do something or say something that I don’t laugh at, but then I end up laughing because I know it really is funny; I’m just being a stick in the mud. 

            We need to allow ourselves to laugh, relax and live in peace. We need to prioritize the things that are good for our souls. I have found the times that I am able to relax, laugh freely, and enjoy life is when I have peace. This peace comes from accepting where I am in life, who I am, and that God is in control. When I take the time to read my Bible and pray daily I am more likely to be in line with God’s will for my life. It’s not that life isn’t busy or difficult, but I have an understanding that God is for me and that is good enough. 

“For the mind-set of the flesh is death, but the mind-set of the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

Great Expectations

    Growing up I loved this time of year with the holiday cheer. We had half the week off from school for Thanksgiving and two weeks at Christmas. I enjoyed being around my family, especially my cousins. I loved the magic that seemed to be in the air. I loved the music and the lights. I loved going to my grandparents’ house and helping them decorate for Christmas. I loved the crackle of the fire in the fireplace, the hot chocolate, and the smile on everyone’s faces. Then I grew up and people no longer met my expectations.

    I wanted to live in a Hallmark world with love, laughter, and good times all around. I wanted my world to be full of happiness and joy, but reality set in and I realized a Hallmark life doesn’t really exist. My expectations were set just a bit too high for others and myself. Life happened and the magic of Christmas faded with the passing of my grandmother, brother, and grandpa in addition to my kids growing older.

    I stopped allowing myself to enjoy the lights, the music, and the gathering of family and friends. I started focusing on all the negative things about all those personalities being together and allowing the hurt from the memories of loved ones gone to Heaven to consume my thoughts. I didn’t want to be happy, because I felt guilty, but now even though the hurt is still there I look back and smile. I want to be happy, and I want to experience the magic again. My life will never be Hallmark worthy because I’m not perfect and I’m not an actress, but I can take the time to create the magic I want this holiday season.

    Here I sit, with these thoughts running through my head: What if the only reason the magic faded was because of my expectations? What if I stopped thinking of what I hoped Christmas would be and started grabbing each moment and turning it into a purposeful time? What would the holiday season look like when lived out with a purpose?

    This time of year is tough, many people are alone or have lost loved ones and it’s hard to celebrate when our hearts are aching. I want to challenge myself and you to live this holiday season with a purpose. Let our expectations be that we serve the Lord by being his hands and feet and loving others. Call someone and ask them over, because we all benefit from just spending time with someone we care about. If you’re a baker, bake extra and share with those around you. Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing to others. Aching hearts and souls are all around; we don’t have to look far to find them. 

Challenge #1: Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him to move in our lives. 

Challenge #2: Love your enemies, do what is good and lend, expecting nothing in return.

Challenge #3: Do what is right, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.

    These three challenges will look different for each of us. This world is a dark place, but when is there a better time than the holiday season to penetrate the dark with your light. God is willing and ready to meet us where we are. Together, we can make a difference if we will let go of our great expectations of others and ourselves and allow God to be the great expectation. 

“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him, do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way by the person who carries out evil plans.” Psalm 37:7

Distracted

I looked up and saw hurt in my daughter’s eyes, it was then that I realized she had been talking to me for a while and was waiting for me to respond. I had no clue what she said to me, so I couldn’t respond except to apologize for not hearing what she had just said. After seeing the hurt in her eyes I told myself I would put my phone away when anyone was talking to me. I get distracted by my phone constantly. I want to check my text message immediately or scroll through Facebook and Instagram to see what others have posted. I like to look throughout the day to see if anyone has liked what I posted. Sadly, I will admit that looking at my phone in public has become my escape so I don’t have to talk to people. I’m an introvert, and the more people there are around me the more I want to hide or get lost in my phone. 

We live in a world with so many distractions. It seems the new normal is to be distracted by our silly games, or TikTok videos and ignore the people around us. It’s nice to escape from the reality of this dark world, but we are missing the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others when we choose to stay glued to our phones. What would happen if we got lost in God’s word instead of the rabbit holes on our social media accounts? Instead of clicking on the next video to watch; we turned the page of our Bible and read how we should treat our neighbors. 

I don’t think there has ever been a time in history when the entire world has the ability to be connected to each other, yet we are disconnected from those closest to us. We have amazing power at our fingertips to be informed, up-to-date, and serve others. We focus on the likes of strangers instead of building relationships with those who can touch our lives with their hugs and words of encouragement. We forget about the amazing power that lives inside of us as Christians. We never know when we can bless someone or be blessed. God will use us if we’re willing to not be distracted. If we’re going to be distracted by something; let it be that we are so caught up in God’s word that we can’t help but live a life seeking to be His hands and feet.

I don’t want to live distracted. I want to live a life with intention and purpose to God’s call on my life. So, I challenge myself to stay off my phone at certain times during the day or even take a day away from my phone. When I am in public, whether it be at a doctor’s office or at the store waiting in line I purposely put my phone away and pay attention to those around me. When I’m home I try to put my phone aside and focus on my family; especially when my kids and husband are talking to me. I want to make a difference in this dark world. I want to shine my light so that others can know God’s love. Let’s be intentional with God’s instructions on loving others and disperse the darkness with His light. 

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday.” Proverbs 4:18

 

Acceptance

 Acceptance: The action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You have to love yourself before you can truly love others”, and if you’re like me when I first heard this I had two thoughts. One, I can love others without loving myself. I'm doing it right now. My second thought was, how am I supposed to love myself when I’m not good enough? 

At some point, we have to accept who we are, whose we are and that the events in our lives created the person we see in the mirror each day. The best place to start learning how to love yourself and others are the Bible which is the key to unlocking the lock that holds the chains that keep us from being the best possible version of ourselves that God created us to be. After you have the key, you need to use it to unlock the lock of acceptance so the chains can be loosened and unraveled, essentially setting you free. God knows I’ve always struggled with feeling like I was good enough, but He has been working on me. 

Three years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I looked good and I felt good. I was eating healthy, working out, and had plenty of energy. I was strong, both physically and mentally. I was proud of my hard work and dedication to my overall health. Then out of nowhere, or at least it seemed that way; I hurt my back. I couldn’t move without being in severe pain. I was out of work for a week, and once I returned I wasn’t able to do much. I shuffled to my room and desk and sat all day. I returned home, shuffled to my recliner, and was in constant pain. The doctors couldn’t figure out what I did, and a procedure was decided. During that time, which was four months, I started gaining weight and my mental health started to decline. My newfound self-confidence flew out the window as I watched my body slowly transform back into the person I worked so hard to change.

Over the past year, God has opened my eyes to my vanity and made me realize I need to accept who I see in the mirror, no matter my appearance. I need to love the person in the mirror no matter my weight, the color of my hair, or the circles under my eyes. Until I can accept the road I’m on and the person in the mirror I can’t live out my purpose for God. 

Within the last few months, God has shown me that I was becoming too prideful and turning into someone He didn’t want me to be. I wasn’t trusting Him like I should nor was I in His word like I should have been. My back being hurt was the second blow of three that would happen in two years. It caused me to go into a dark place and within the last year, I’ve been able to take steps with the help of God, my husband, and friends to step into the light.

The steps I’ve taken have been shaky, and scary, and I’ve stumbled more than once. God has broken me and humbled me, but at the same time, God is building me into the person he wants me to be. I’ve learned that God doesn’t see the flaws that seem to scream at me consistently throughout the day. He sees my heart. I’ve had to accept that God loves me no matter how I look, act, or feel. Once I accepted that I am enough, I am chosen, and I am loved; the chains started to unravel and I have never felt more free to just be me. Three steps you can take to help you accept yourself are: 

1. Pray for God to reveal His love to you.

2. Read your Bible.

3. Obey God…He won’t steer you wrong.

One day you will look back and see His unfailing love for you. REMEMBER the key to unlocking how to love yourself is the Bible. There you will find, just as I have found, how much you are loved. You have to accept where you are and that God loves you right where you are. Even if you don’t fully believe it, ask God to help you in your unbelief and keep taking those little steps forward. God will guide you the entire way.

 “You yourselves, as living stones, are being built into a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2:5

Lamenting Joel

 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Jesus, do you even care about me?

Jesus, are you there?

Jesus, do you hear my prayers or see my tears?

    The hurt we feel when we lose a loved one can cut so deep that not even a sliver of light can penetrate the darkness that clouds our minds. “They’re in a better place” or “They’re no longer in pain” are said to comfort you, but they do very little to actually bring the comfort you long for. 

    There’s a different story though when your loved one that dies was a known druggie. The phone doesn’t ring, beep, or vibrate. Sure people send their condolences but it’s different. The comforting words aren’t said and most people are thinking one less dope head to worry about or serves them right. 

    The fact is, it doesn’t matter how the person died, the people who are left behind are still hurt. The desire to see, hear and touch your loved one just ONE MORE TIME is overwhelming. All the what-ifs running through your head, and the darkness that overcomes you is still there; but the support you need from the community dries up when the person who died doesn’t match society’s view of a person that deserves to be mourned.

    My brother died of a heart attack on August 12th, 2019. I had just finished volleyball practice when I found out and was heading to my house. The pain from this phone call caused my stomach to knot up and push a golf ball size lump into my throat. I held myself together as I got out of the truck, and found my husband and kids sitting outside. I was expecting to deliver this horrible news to my mom (our mom), but I found her wailing on my kitchen floor with her cell phone facing up. My aunt was on the other end, telling me she was sorry. I cried, of course, and my mom and I immediately packed and drove solemnly for two hours to her house, where my brother had passed away. 

    I, however, held it all together. I was strong until I wasn’t. I broke about a week later. It was Tuesday, game day, and I was determined to be there for my girls, for my team. I made it through our game even though the reality of my brother’s death and the fact that I had not dealt with it was slapping me in the face. I sat quietly, on the bench for the varsity game and as the game ended, my world started to crumble. I jetted out of the gym, snatched my belongings from the coach's office, jumped in my car, and drove home before releasing the loudest, most pain-filled scream to God. 

    In that moment of lamenting, I questioned God. I screamed at God. I couldn’t understand why he would allow me to lose yet another person in my life. Hadn’t I been through enough? It was pitch black outside, and my soul felt just as dark. Just as I was letting out my anger and “letting God have it”, the dome light in the car came on. The light penetrated the dark inside the truck and somehow found its way into my heart. My husband quietly shut the passenger door, reached for my hand, and said, “it’s okay, let it all out, I’ve been wondering how much longer you would make it before breaking.” God sent Nick outside at just the right moment, I put my head on the steering wheel and sobbed. As the tears streamed down my face I knew God heard me and eventually I was going to be okay. 

    You may not feel like God is there. You may not feel like he cares. BUT GOD..is ALWAYS there, he DOES care, and he HEARS your prayers. It just may be that you're sitting in the dark and you can’t see him. God will send someone to reach out to you and to turn the light on so you can see him. He’s there waiting for us to cry out to him and when you do he will carry you through.

Busy

Tired? 

Overwhelmed?

Stressed?

Me too! It’s just the “busy” time of year, at least that is what I keep telling myself. I’ve had several friends ask me recently to pray that they are able to focus on what’s most important in their lives and not get caught up in the rush of life, or the things that can distract them from the important things in their lives. We all tend to take on more than we should, and when we do we become tired, overwhelmed, and stressed. God didn’t create us to live life the way most Americans do. We rush around all the time trying to get so much accomplished, take our kids to everything, and still maintain our health; yet we don’t realize the negative effect that being busy can have on our health holistically. 

This time of year brings excitement, fun, and a sense of community, but it can be overwhelming when we don’t allow ourselves the time to rest, recover, and unwind from the constant coming and going from all the activities we attend. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this time of year and all the activities, but it can hurt us if we don’t slow down enough to spend quality time with God and our family. Our focus shifts from God and family to what event is next, and before we know it a month has gone by without any quality time with God or our family. 

If you’re like me, you become cranky and snippy, then you wonder why no one is talking to you or wants to be around you. I have noticed I need my sleep to function and to stay in a good mood. I also need time to be still, let go of the daily stresses (which I’m not good at letting go of), and rest in God’s presence. I prefer to be outside because it helps me to relax and I connect with God more when I’m outside enjoying His creation, but my schedule doesn’t always allow that. I do my best to set aside time every morning to read my devotional and scripture, pray, and then start my day. I find that I am less cranky or not cranky at all after spending time with God and I’m much more likely to be an encouragement to others.

When you start to feel tired, overwhelmed and stressed; slow down, take a deep breath, and talk to God. Even in our busiest seasons of life God is there and is happy that we are enjoying life, but he created us to need to rest. Ask Him what you can let go of, or say no to so you slow down and stay focused on the important things in your life. Don’t become so caught up in the hustle and bustle of this time of year that you forget about God and your family. You don’t have to say yes to everything you’re invited to. Make God a priority and everything else will fall into place. Live in the moment, don't live for the moments. Remember… one breath at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time. “I lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

Oh FORTY

 “Do not rejoice over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will stand up; though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.” Micah 7:8

40... It’s just a number yet it has some sort of hold on me. It’s scary and exciting. It is knocking at my door, and I’m not quite sure how I want to greet it when I open the door to enter a new decade of my life. Over the past year, I have moved the curtains ever so slightly to peek out the window as others opened the door to 40 to see how 40 greeted them and vice versa. Some greeted 40 with open arms, some solemnly, and others treated 40 as if it were nothing. 40 seems to be a big deal for me, and within this past week, my perspective has changed. 

For many years I looked at 40 and thought, “Life is halfway over when you reach 40, how sad.” As the months dwindled down to weeks, I began going through the ups and downs of being close to 40 and thinking about my life. I looked at my life as a walk through the wilderness, and wondered why my life went the way it did, and just like the Israelites had to wander the wilderness for forty years before they could enter the promised land; I finally realized I had to walk through, okay honestly, sometimes it was waller and crawl through, some tough times to reach where I’m at now. I’m not walking in the promised land, but I’m certainly not in the valley of darkness anymore either. I am entering a new decade of life with a new perspective and a renewed hope that I haven’t had in quite some time. 

My life hasn’t been easy, but the older I get I realize no one escapes this life without some tough times. Some people are blessed with scenic views and rainbows and have very few tough times while others seem to have sharp turns, bridges, potholes, and dead ends. I’ve definitely had more of the bumpy roads with sharp turns and dead ends than scenic views. The enemy has tried to knock me down over and over, but I keep getting up. Instead of looking back on the past forty years and saying how sad, I’m looking back and counting my blessings. I can clearly see where God blessed, guided, loved, and protected me.  If I could write a letter to my younger self I would tell myself to relax, have fun, laugh more, stop trying to make everyone happy, and take care of yourself, but most importantly grow your relationship with Jesus. As I count down the days to turning the big 4-0, I am counting my blessings and I’m amazed at where I came from and where I am now. Without the loving hands of God there is no way I would be where I am now, nor would I be the person I am today. I am rich, not because of the material things that God has blessed me with, but because I have a loving husband, kids, family, friends, and good health. 

Physically, I’m not where I thought I would be at this point in my life, but I’m working on it. Mentally, I am much better off than I was, but I still have work to do. Spiritually, I am moving forward in my walk with the Lord, but still have a ways to go. Overall, I would say 40 is looking better and better. Am I still nervous about what this new decade holds? Yes, because I know there will still be trials and rough roads ahead, but I know who holds my future, so I’m at peace. When the day comes for me to answer the knock at the door to allow 40 to come in I will greet it with a spark in my eye, a smile on my face, and a fire in my soul to live life on purpose; making every moment intentional because from a very young age I was taught tomorrow is not guaranteed. Here’s to 40! Let’s do this!

Love Others

 “If I say to the wicked, ‘You are going to die’, and you don’t sound the alarm warning them that it’s a matter of life or death, they will die and it will be your fault. I’ll hold you responsible.” Ezekiel 3:18 The Message

There is a famous quote by Edmond Burke that has been on my mind lately and it states, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” How long will we Christians sit on our hands and hide in our “perfect” worlds of blue skies, rainbows, and churches filled with fellow believers who pretend to have it all together? Our beliefs are being mocked and disregarded as we sit complacently in our chairs, pews, and homes accepting that this is just how it all goes down. The more we sit back and do nothing, the worse this world will get, and more souls will be lost, rightfully so. We are in the midst of a battle, and instead of drawing our swords to fight we are sitting back and allowing the enemy to win. 

The youth of today are being bombarded with a worldview that sets them up for mental illnesses, poor health, and a mindset that focuses only on themselves. Empathy and sympathy are headed out the window, while pride and selfishness are marching through the door as a way of living the best life. I’ll get what I want, and it doesn’t matter who I hurt or how I get it;  just as long as it doesn’t hurt me. This way of thinking is becoming more and more prevalent. Our kids have access to news, social media, and information that they’re not old enough to understand. Their brains are not fully developed, and yet we seem to think it will not affect how they behave or perceive the world and themselves. Their identities are being built on how many followers, likes, and viewers they have on their social media accounts. As Isaiah says, “What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever.” Now is the time to take a stand, speak the truth, and let them see that there is a better way and that their identities are found in Christ. 

How can we change this? How can we fight when it seems we have already lost the battle? We must put on our armor, take up our swords, and remember we are fighting a battle, but the war has already been won. God will be with us and has gone before us. Stand firm, be bold, and LOVE others so the world can see there is hope in this dark, lost world. We need to LOVE others how Jesus loves us. That means speaking the truth, and the only truth worth speaking is the words from the Bible. We are at a point in history where if we don’t start speaking the truth we are missing our purpose. People are hurting, suffering, and looking for hope, justice, love, and peace. The harvest is plenty, and now is the time to start reaping. As Christians, we can point them to the only one who can give them what they are looking for, but we can’t do this by pretending that our lives are perfect. It’s time to be real with others. It’s time to start living life the way God intended it to be lived, and that means allowing others in our lives. We need to get off our cell phones and social media, out of our houses, and look up to see what is really going on around us. We can hide in our houses and give our money to the poor, but until we get outside and LOVE others we aren’t really living the life God has planned for us. “If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:3 (NLT) Challenge yourself this week and choose to go for a walk and talk to a neighbor, set your phone down on your lunch break and visit with a coworker or family member, or send an encouraging text to someone you care about. Be the light and LOVE others.

Turn on the light

 "Then Jesus spoke to them again: "I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows Me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." John 8:12

    Ouch! I grumbled as I walked into the doorframe half asleep. I didn't want to turn the light on as to not disturb my husband as he lay in bed asleep, but my eyes didn't adjust to the darkness quick enough and I stumbled into the doorframe as I left our bedroom for an early morning trip to the bathroom. I wasn't seriously injured, but I could have been.

    Have your eyes adjusted to the darkness of this world? Do you prefer to walk in the darkness so you can't see what is around you? Many people will say that it's good to accept the world's view on every subject, but I disagree. We should stand firm on our Christian beliefs and morals. As Christians, we know that God banished Satan to earth and gave him free reign on this world until Jesus comes back again. As the time for Jesus to return draws near, Satan has and will continue to corrupt this world and that is why we can't accept the world's view. The corruption can be seen throughout the world and it is becoming more evident every day, even here in the "Bible belt", where I live. We are slowly accepting evil and often times we do not realize that it is happening. This has not happened overnight; we can look at our acceptance of moral decline as something so small as the acceptance of foul language in TV shows and movies. When you walk in the grocery store or go out to eat with your family you will most likely hear the expletives flying all around you, and no one seems to even notice. We have become desensitized to foul language because of what we allow ourselves to listen to and watch daily.  Sadly, our eyes have adjusted to the darkness of sin just enough that no one can tell that we are walking in the dark, which is exactly what Satan wants. He wants your eyes to adjust to the darkness just enough so that you can see but you don't realize what is really going on. Satan disguises himself as an angel of light and tricks people into thinking that there is nothing wrong with the dullness of the light he is shining. His light illuminates just enough for you to keep walking safely or so it seems to be safe. He is causing many Christians to stumble because he's shouting don't turn the light on and we're listening. What light?

    In John chapter eight, Jesus called himself the light of the world. When you became a Christian you were filled with the Holy Spirit and thus have the light living in you. Satan doesn't want you to turn your light on because you will make the world bright. The dull light that he is shining for you will dissipate and the true light will shine brightly and illuminate the things that are important for the Kingdom of God. The darkness will fade as you share the gospel and become the hands and feet of Christ. The darkness will fade as you love others as yourself. The darkness will fade as you speak Jesus' name over your life, a tough situation you may be facing, a bad relationship, or many other hurts that life has to offer. Turn your light on, so you can truly see this world as God sees it, and as Jesus saw it while he was here on this earth. Pick up your Bible and read it, then apply it to your life, pray throughout your day, sing God's praise, and thank him for your many blessings, so your light will not be dimmed. Turn your light on and keep it shining for others to see.

    When you turn your light on Satan scampers away because he can not co-exist with Jesus. Jesus wins every time. Satan cries out OUCH when we turn the light on, just as I did when I walked into the doorframe. I made it back to my bed without running into the doorframe on my way back from the bathroom because I allowed my eyes to adjust to the darkness before attempting to walk back to my bedroom. I didn't turn the light on so I wouldn't wake my husband up, but as Christians, we should turn the light on, and wake up the people around us, so they can truly see and not stumble in the darkness. 

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Too Simple

    

"But his officers tried to reason with him and said, "Sir, if the prophet had told you to do something difficult, wouldn't you have done it? 2 Kings 5:13a NLT

How many times have you missed out on being healed because you didn't like the way it looked or sounded? As little kids, a kiss on the boo-boo or a band-aid is an immediate fix. We are happy with the attention and run off to play some more. As we get older that simple fix doesn't work and we want ice, a band-aid, and some time to rest and recover before we go back to playing. Once we become adults a simple fix just doesn't seem to solve the hurt, you have to baby the wound before you can move on. The simple things just don't work or at least that is what we are programmed to believe. This not only happens physically but spiritually; before we know it, a period of time has flown by, and we are still trying to heal. This healing can be from someone or something in your life that has hurt you, but for this post, I'm going to speak on our sins. Yes, even I sin, it's inevitable, and though I don't like to admit it I sin daily. We are told as believers if we ask for forgiveness of our sins they will be forgiven. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 HCSB 

    How many times have you missed out on a blessing, blessing others, or a calling because you could not forgive yourself? The Bible, which is God's word, clearly states that if we ask for forgiveness it is given, so why do we have such a hard time forgiving ourselves. We get caught up in our mistakes and we are not able to move forward. I have a theory, or at least God is opening my eyes to why I struggle with forgiving myself. IT'S TOO EASY! Like Naaman from 2 Kings, I find myself thinking in order for me to gain forgiveness from God it should be earned. I should have to do some difficult task to be worthy of God's forgiveness and to forgive myself for messing up, but that is not what God says to do. Let's look at Naaman's background real quick and discuss this story that jumped out at me one morning this past week as I read my Bible. Naaman was a commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was an excellent commander, won many battles, and was favored by the king, but there was a problem, Naaman had leprosy. During this time, leprosy was viewed as a sign of sinfulness and you needed to ask for forgiveness and be cleansed. Naaman went to Elisha's house, a prophet of God so he could be cleansed of this "sin". His response to his cure isn't too far from what mine has been at times. He became angry and refused to do what Elisha's messenger told him to do. Why did he become angry? Naaman was expecting Elisha to come out and wave his hand over him or at least give him some difficult task to complete. Instead, Elisha sends a messenger to tell Naaman the simplest of tasks, "Go and wash yourself seven times in the Jordan River. Then your skin will be restored and you will be healed of your leprosy." 2 Kings 5: 10 That's it, just go wash yourself, it seems simple enough.

    You see Naaman was expecting a different answer, and this threw him off guard. In my opinion, Naaman did the hard part which is humbling himself and asking how to be cleansed. He was not expecting it to be so simple. Him being a commander expected the cleansing to be a more tedious task, and was upset that he traveled when he could've just washed in the rivers of his country. It took his servants asking him if it would have been a difficult task if he would do it just to be cleansed for him to realize his reaction was a bit dramatic. Of course, Naaman was like, well yeah I would do the difficult task, and his servants asked him then why won't you do this simple thing? Just go wash yourself in the Jordan, it's so simple and we can be on our way, serving our king and winning battles. (emphasis is mine) We are not told the time frame from when Naaman showed up at Elisha's house to when he decided to go wash in Jordan. Can you picture the shock on his servants' faces when he was given this simple assignment and refused to do it? 

    Let's bring this back to us when we ask for forgiveness of our sins. Can you picture God's face when we don't simply come to him and ask for forgiveness? He already knows what we've done and why we've done it. We want to ask for forgiveness and hold on to it like it's a treasure or not even bring it to him. Either way, when you don't bring it to God and leave it with him you are weighing yourself down. He can't do the work in your life and you will struggle to do what He has called you to do because you won't allow the simple act of asking for forgiveness to set you free. The hardest part is humbling yourself before God, admitting that you messed up, letting it go, and moving forward. Yes, it's really that simple. We are not supposed to walk around feeling shame and guilt for weeks, months, or even years. I'm not saying we shouldn't feel those things when we mess up, because we should, but once we have asked for forgiveness we have to let it go and move on, not sit in the guilt and shame. The devil is at work when you get stuck in these feelings and, honestly, he is happy that you are there and will do whatever it takes to keep you there. Don't allow yourself to get stuck because you can't forgive yourself for what you've done. Will there be consequences? Yes. Will it be easy to let go? Maybe, but maybe not. Will you have to work daily to move forward? Most likely yes, but that's for anything you do. Don't be so hard on yourself, give it to God, and move on with life. Seek forgiveness and set things right with those you have hurt and move forward. You are loved and worthy of living a life full of blessings from your loving father. Don't be a Naaman and torture yourself for your mistakes and make your life, and the life of those around you miserable, simply go before your loving Father and ask for forgiveness. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but as soon as you accept it you will be set free. 

God hears you

 "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8 CSB

    This past month God has opened my eyes to all the prayers that I prayed years ago and he has answered or is answering. I am thankful every morning that I wake up because I have another day to spend with my family and hopefully show others that God loves them. Still, this revelation that God has given me this month has opened my eyes to how he works and I am thankful for God's answered prayers in a new way. What I'm about to share is not me bragging about what I have or what I have done, but to show you how God works, at least in my life, and to give Him the glory he deserves. 

    Ten years ago, Nick and I celebrated 9 years of marriage, and we had a 7 and 5-year-old. We lived in a double-wide a few blocks away from where we live now. We both were sitting outside reading books on prayer and learning how to walk closer to God. We read a book by Mark Batterson titled, Circle Maker. This book initiated a conversation between us that I truly believe has led us to where we call home today. I was still in what I would call my infant phase of belief and what God is capable of doing, very innocent and naïve to how prayer works and how quickly he would answer our prayers. Mr. Batterson, wrote about walking around a property that he felt the church should purchase, but knew there was no way the church could afford it. His faith in God's ability to not only allow the church to relocate to this new property, but also afford it opened my eyes to what God was not only capable of doing, but what He was willing to do if we would only ask Him. You see, many times God wants to bless us with so much more, but we put limits on what we think He is willing to do for us, and therefore we don't ask Him. As Nick and I finished our books, we did what the author did and we walked around our house seven times for seven days and prayed that God would allow us to sell the house. We wanted out of the double-wide and into a brick home, where that home would be we weren't sure, but we didn't want to live in the trailer any longer. I'm sure our neighbors thought we were crazy, but I'm sitting here to tell you the prayer worked. It didn't happen after the seven days of walking around the house, or within the month, or even the year. As a matter of fact, so much time passed that I nearly forgot about the summer we walked around our house praying for God to provide us a house that we would be proud of, that would allow us to bless others, and invite people over for fellowship. A house that we could call home and our kids would have friends over and there would be plenty of room for everyone. As the years went by I just assumed that we weren't going to move out of the house and focused on being happy with what God had blessed us with, which was a small home that allowed me to be close to my kids, protection from the weather and many other provisions that we tend to take for granted in America. The walk around our house, some days with kids following us, and other days just the two of us was a simple way to show our faith in God. Three years ago that prayer was answered. God heard our prayers and gave us a beautiful century-year-old home on about two acres in the middle of our little town. We had no clue at the time what we wanted or where it would be, but we did know that we wanted it to be from God and allow us to bless others. God blessed us abundantly with this new home. It wasn't in the time frame we wanted, and yes, there were times I didn't understand why He didn't answer our prayers immediately, but looking back I can see His hands at work in our lives. There is another story about us buying this home, but that is for another time. 

    If you will sit with me for a little longer, I would like to share one more account of God hearing and answering our prayers. As I was finishing my teaching certification, I desperately wanted to work for Whitehouse ISD, but being straight out of college, and not growing up in this area the odds were stacked against me. I was fortunate enough to complete my student teaching at two schools in Whitehouse and was praying that a position would open up for me to work in this district. As my time as a student teacher came to an end and I interviewed for a position it became clear that I would not be hired by them, and would need to apply elsewhere. God opened doors for me as only he can and I was hired at Gladewater. As the years passed when there was an opening at Whitehouse I would apply and was interviewed but I always came up short. Over time, with each rejection, I believed that I was never going to be hired to work in Whitehouse, so I stopped applying for the positions posted and I accepted that I was where God meant for me to be. I allowed myself to believe that I just wasn't good enough and would never be the caliber of teacher Whitehouse hired, and accepted the lies the devil told me. Then out of the blue, a position opened up last year in Whitehouse and Nick told me I should apply. At first, I laughed at him, one because I wasn't looking for a job, I was content with my current position, and two, I believed that I wasn't good enough to work for Whitehouse. The repeated rejection over the years from the school was enough to keep me from even being interested enough in applying for the job, but after prayer and encouragement from Nick, I decided to see if this was God opening a door for me. As I sat in the interview I knew no matter the outcome I was good enough to work at Whitehouse. God was definitely at work in this situation and became evident when I knew I had the job within 5 minutes of the interview being over!  Most of the time after an interview you have to wait a day up to a week to know if the school was going to offer you the job. After 11 years of teaching, and the uncertainty of if I should even be a teacher, God opened the door for me to work at Whitehouse. Another prayer that was prayed years ago was answered.

    This summer I have been reminded of those prayers and many more that I prayed 7 or more years ago that God has recently answered. It is now, that he has opened my eyes, that I can see he heard my prayers but didn't answer them with an immediate yes because I wasn't ready. I needed to have the experiences that those years of waiting and not getting what I prayed for brought me. You see, God hears our prayers: I asked and received. I sought and was given what I prayed for. I knocked and the door was opened. True, none of this happened on my timeline, or how I wanted it to happen, but God made a way and blessed me in the process. I am better because of the waiting and more thankful for what He has blessed me with because it did not happen the way I wanted it to. God's ways are so much better than ours. Trust in his timing and accept that where you are, no matter what you are going through is where he wants you. 

Take Him out of the box

 "Go to my servant David and say, "This is what the Lord says: Are you to build me a house to dwell in?" 2 Samuel 7:4

    As I was reading my Bible in a year from the Bible version app this morning this verse jumped off the page at me. I continued to read and I felt like God was asking me why I was keeping him in a box. As humans, we tend to put God in a box because we can only comprehend so much of His abilities and powers, so it makes sense for us to put our attributes, mostly our strengths, on God. If we can do this, then that means God can do it too. The obvious problem is God can do so much more! I laughed at myself as I thought about this verse and it dawned on me that even David, a man after God's own heart, wanted to put God in a box. 

    Do you know what God tells David? He says, "I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have destroyed all your enemies before you." I will make a great name for you like that of the greatest on the earth." (vs 9) I don't want to misconstrue what God is saying here or take it out of context but when I think on this it reminds me that God isn't just in a building that we call a church. He is with me! He is with me at my house, at my job, on the road, in the store, and at church. He isn't a member of the church who greets me at the door or the Pastor who preaches every Sunday that I won't see again until next week. No, God enters the church with me and leaves the church with me. He doesn't dwell in the church. At least not the church building.

    God is with me wherever I go, because I am the church. He lives in me! As a Christian, once I accepted Jesus as my savior I received the Holy Spirit thus allowing God to dwell in me. There is power in realizing this, and there is something to be said about a person who accepts and lives this out. The problem is we often forget the power we have access to because we see our faults and weaknesses and focus on those attributes instead of the power that we have. So, what can we do to change this?

    PRAY! Stop putting God in a box. Stop leaving God at church. Stop walking around in defeat. Stop focusing on your weaknesses. Stop putting yourself down. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop putting God in a box. PRAY for God to show you His power. PRAY for God to remind of you that He is with you. PRAY for God to help you realize when you have negative thoughts so you can stop them in their tracks. PRAY that God will remind you that He has already won and He is victorious, which in turn means you are victorious too. PRAY that God will show you when you are limiting Him in your life. Ask God for what you need. Speak Jesus' name over every situation you're in and watch Him work in your life.

    Our Western Christian culture has made it easy for us to put God in a box. We have dummied down our faith and put restrictions on people who want to be God's hands and feet. We have allowed this country to be taken over because we have sat silently believing that this is how Jesus would respond. If we want to make a difference in this world and see a change it has to start with us, with me. I have to stop putting God in a box. I have to stop being afraid of what might happen if I allow God full access to my life. I have to accept that I am not in control and God really does know what is best. I have to remember that Jesus would not sit by and watch as others sinned and allowed corruption to reign. 

    God doesn't belong in a box. God doesn't want to be left in the church building. God wants to go with you wherever you go. God wants to use you. He created you for a time such as this. There is a reason you are alive today. There is a reason that you have certain talents and gifts. The question is are you ready and willing to put those talents and gifts to work for God. God LOVES you! Go ahead, take Him out of the box. Go for a walk or a drive and talk to Him. He's ready, are you? 

    

Today

 

    You are an Author!  You are Beautiful!  You are Called!  You are Chosen!  You are Enough!      You are Equipped!  You are Loved!  You are Unique!

    I have those words on a sticky note or index card taped to my desk. Something so silly, but yet a daily reminder of who God says I am. I need those daily reminders as I'm sure most of you do, and if you're like me you want others to say those affirmations to you, but it doesn't happen. The older I get the more I realize how much I rely on others to lift me up when the only one I should rely on is God. God is the one who created me and knows my inner most thoughts and intricate designs, and only He can truly lift me up and it have a lasting effect. God is good like that. He speaks the truth and only the truth, so if God says it then it must be true. The only problem is I have to believe what He says about me, but the reality is once you've been knocked down it's not always easy to believe the truth. 

    The TRUTH....

    Today, Good Friday, we look to the cross and remember the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and we, as Christians, say, "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming," and we become overjoyed with what Sunday means, but come Monday we're back in our routine and the joy of Jesus' victory over death has left our minds. We don't "cling to the Old Rugged Cross" or "walk in the garden" or even "run out of the grave"; no we drag ourselves out of bed, grumble that it's Monday, stumble through our morning routine, just to wish it was Friday all over again, so we can enjoy our weekend. Jesus didn't come to this earth, live a sinless life, and die for us to stumble through the week praying for the weekend. He came so that we can LIVE! He came to conquer SIN! He came to defeat DEATH! He CAME and CONQUERED and DEFEATED the devil! He is VICTORIOUS! Jesus made a way for us to LIVE and not just to live but to LIVE VICTORIOUSLY! 

    Today, as you look to the cross and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ take some time to reflect on your life, be willing to look deep into your life, look at yourself, look at your routine, look at your thoughts, look at your actions and ask yourself, "am I living or am I LIVING?" Are you stumbling through the week? Are you living day to day? The more honest you can be with yourself, and share that honesty with God; after all he already knows, the more peace you will have, and the more equipped you will be to LIVE VICTORIOUSLY. Let today be the day that you allow His blood to wash over you, remember that your sins are forgiven, and you are made new in HIM. 

    Today, a new you starts NOW! Call out Jesus' name. Tell the devil he can go back to where he came from and he no longer has a hold on you. Hell is a real place, and there is no where else the devil would rather you be than walking through hell on earth and keep you from LIVING the life God created for you. There is a battle over you and you have to decide today, and every day which side you are going to allow to win. You can listen to the lies of the devil or you can listen to the truth of God. You may not need the same words of affirmation as me, but I want to encourage you to find the TRUTH that God speaks about you, write it down, and put it somewhere that you will see it daily. Read it and believe it. It will most likely take time for the truth to sink in and for you to truly walk in it, but once you do, there will be a noticeable difference in how you handle life on a daily basis. 

    There is no better day than today to start living for God. There is no better day than today to start living victoriously. There is not a better day than today to call on the name of Jesus and send the devil packing. Let the truth of today sink in, let it knock you to your knees as you think of Jesus being beaten, his flesh torn, spit upon, ridiculed, nails holding him to the cross, soldiers casting lots for his clothes, and his innocence as he hung there waiting for the time to say, "IT IS FINISHED." My heart is heavy as I write this, tears fill my eyes and slide down my cheeks as the reality of today sinks in. I am guilty of stumbling through my morning routine and praying for Friday so I can enjoy the weekend. I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to wake up and LIVE VICTORIOUSLY every day and I can only do that when I live surrendered to the calling God has on my life. 

THE TRUTH...

    Jesus came to this earth to die for our sins so we could live with him in Heaven for all eternity. You don't have to live life feeling defeated; give your brokenness, hurt, and pain to God and watch him turn your ashes to beauty. 

God LOVES you!  God is FOR you! God says you are ENOUGH! God says you are CHOSEN! 

Where have you been?

 

    I've had several people tell me that I need to write again. That they miss reading my blog posts and while I felt encouraged I wasn't ready to write. I wasn't in a place to open up, but today I am willing to do just that. So, where have I been?

    I can sit here and tell you that I've been busy, and I wouldn't be lying. My schedule has been crazy with going back to coaching, my husband being a band director, and my daughter being in multiple extracurricular activities at her school; I've had very little time to do anything else. That is a wonderful excuse, but it's an excuse. If you've read any of my posts before this one, you know that I'll be honest and vulnerable, so here's the truth...

    I withdrew. I shutdown. I closed myself off. I was hurting. I turned away. I went off the path. I walked the wide path. I was tired. I fell. I sunk into a pit. I allowed the darkness to swallow me. I fought. I gave up. I tried to stand. I got knocked back down. I tried again. I got knocked down. I sat. I searched. I tried to get up. I was stuck. I couldn't move forward. 

     Every time the darkness engulfs me it seems harder to find the faintest light of hope, but this time the pull of giving in has been much stronger. It's scary how easy it would be to just give up and allow myself to continue to sink into the oblivion of darkness, to allow myself to self destruct and continue down the road of self-hatred, embarrassment, and shame. Today's date caught my attention, I am just under six months from turning 40. I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am officially obese and weigh more than I have ever weighed, yes; that's including my pregnancies, and I can't seem to lose it; which infuriates me. I can't look in the mirror without being embarrassed or feel ashamed even though part of my weight gain couldn't be helped. My weight shouldn't be my hang up, but more importantly it's my health. I'm not healthy and it scares me. I don't want to die young like my dad and my brother. I want to be holistically healthy and that includes being acutely aware of my weight. It's all one big circle, and getting my gut health in check, will allow me to become holistically healthy and help get me out of this vicious cycle.

    So, what keeps me going? My family, my husband, and my kids. I can't give up because they need me, but also because I want my kids to see no matter how hard life can be  you have to keep going. Each day is going to be different. Some days you need to be alone. Some days you need to be with your loved ones. Some days you need to get out. Some days you need to be with a friend who will listen to you or make you laugh or give you advice. Some days you just get up and do what has to be done. Eventually the hard days become less hard and you start having more good days than bad. You look up and you're out of the storm, out of the pit, and life is good again. 

    Finally, a little glimpse of hope. God spoke ever so quietly to me. I'm not completely out of the dark, nor am I completely sure how long I will stand on these wobbly legs before getting knocked down again, but there is one thing I know. I am not going to sit in the pit anymore. I WILL NOT GIVE UP! The Devil can try to keep me down, and it may take longer for me to stand, but I will stand up...I WILL RISE! "Do not rejoice over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will stand up; though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light." Micah 7:8 

    Still I Rise has been my motto for almost a year now. I am not one to give up easily or quit. It may take me a while to get up, especially, when I keep getting hit with tough situations or changes but I do not and will not wave the white flag of surrender. I have allowed myself to sit and wallow too long, and I'm angry with myself for allowing it. I am not where I want to be mentally, physically, or spiritually, but I have learned a lot about myself during this dark time. Things that I didn't realize before or maybe I knew but didn't want to accept. The truth is, even when I am down and out, God is still working in me and for me. He never walked away from me even though I flat out told Him that I wasn't sure he was for me. When I stopped praying daily; He didn't walk away from me. He waited for me to come back to him. I am back talking to him and as I open up to him, he is showing me that He loves me and is for me.

    There you have it....that's where I've been for over a year. Not writing. Not growing. Not walking faithfully. Just merely surviving. Just sitting. Just letting life happen. I have started writing again. I have started taking steps to better myself again. I will continue to move forward with my life knowing that perfection is not the goal, but progress is what I should focus on. Thankfully, I'm not who I was 10 years ago, and I know that when I look at this point I will see God's hand just as I do now when looking back to who I was 10 years ago. "I lift my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

    Where have you been? How is life treating you? I'll write again soon. Here's a parting verse and some encouragement for you today: "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being." Ephesians 3:16 Remember this: YOU ARE CHOSEN! YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE CALLED! YOU ARE EQUIPPED!