2022 wasn't so bad

     I meandered into 2022 with a little bit of excitement and a whole lot of uncertainty. The past three years had been hard for me and my family. Every time we would start getting back on our feet we would get knocked down again, and I was weary. I spent the last week of 2021 seeking God, reflecting on the year, and searching for a word to focus on for 2022.

    The word God kept showing me was restore. He was going to restore me, but I wasn’t sure how this was going to play out because I needed a lot of work. My weight increased throughout 2021 despite my efforts to lose weight, and my physical and mental health decreased. My spiritual health was improving but nowhere near where it needed to be.

    The first few months of 2022 were slow, but as I focused on what I needed to do to reach my goals I noticed my mind starting to shift. By the end of the school year, I knew God was restoring me and I felt a sense of joy deep in my soul. As I closed out 2022, I could tell that God definitely did what he told me and I was being restored, but I still have some work to do. 

God restored these things: My JOY- in the little things of life.

                        - in the mornings.

                        - in my writing.

                        - in reading.

                        - in attending church.

                        - in time spent with family and friends.

                    My FAITH- in God.

                                                             -in myself.

                    My MENTAL HEALTH - positive thoughts and counting my blessings comes more naturally.

         

                    My HOME - we were able to make our house feel like a home.

    Like every year, 2022 had its ups and downs, but overall it was a good year. I will gladly take it over 2019, 2020, and 2021. God was faithful as he always is. God did some major restoration on my heart and I’m excited about what He has planned for me in 2023. 

“Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.” 1 Peter 5:10

Journey

“There's no journey like a shared one.” ~ When Hope Calls Christmas

    

   According to Merriam-Webster, a journey is an act or instance of traveling from one place to another. I don't know about you but I like to travel and I enjoy sharing the experience with my family and friends.

 I'm not talking about a vacation, for instance though; I'm talking about the journey we call life. Our journey begins the day we are born and ends when we die, at least for our bodies it ends. As we grow so does our independence, and depending on what hand we are dealt life is easy as a child or difficult. We begin to learn how to navigate this world with the help of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, coaches, and friends. 

    This journey that we are on isn’t easy and we need people on every leg of this journey. As I mentioned earlier, in the first leg of this journey we are surrounded by people who love us and do their best to guide and support us as we figure out life. As we enter the next leg of our journey, the baton is passed from family to friends as we become more independent from the adults who took care of us, and surround ourselves with friends who “get us”. Our friends on this part of our journey can help make us or break us. The people we allow in our lives are just as important as the people that we keep out of our lives. The choices we make as teenagers and young adults have a lasting impact whether we realize it or not.

    The baton is passed off to our significant other for the next leg of the journey and we begin to realize that life is not a sprint, but a marathon. The pace and stride we take begin to slow and lengthen as we make big life choices. When do we get married? How quickly do we want to start a family? Do we buy a house or rent? Is this the right career path? With all those decisions to make life can be overwhelming, especially if we choose to go at it alone. 

    Community is an important part of surviving the journey. We need like-minded people who share our beliefs and will listen to our struggles, and help us celebrate our successes. We also need people in our lives who won’t always be on our side. We need people who question us. People who won’t just go along with what we say and do, but make us stop and think about what we are doing and why we are doing it. Can I challenge you here? Intentionally seek someone who is different than you and befriend them. 

    Take this journey in stride. Allow people in your life. Seek God and ask him to show you who should be in your circle. Remember Jesus loved everyone but had a small circle of friends and an even smaller group that he knew he could rely on. Jesus had Judas in his small circle of friends, so it’s to be expected that we will have a Judas or two as well. We will face conflicts with people because we aren’t perfect and we shouldn’t expect others to be. We need to be like Jesus and love others for who they are not who we want them to be.

    I’ve always had a community that surrounds me, but I haven’t always accepted it. Acceptance. We have to accept that others want to be in our lives. We have to accept that not everyone we want to be in our lives needs to be in our lives. We have to accept that God will put people in our lives that we don’t necessarily want in our lives, but they turn out to be just the person we need for that leg of our journey. No matter the leg of the journey we are on, we should build and strengthen our community, serve and love others, and gain one more for the Kingdom of God.

    As this year comes to a close, and the new year begins I want to focus on the people that God has put in my circle. I want to create a community of people that I can enjoy this journey with. I’m not going to sit back and just be, I’m going to open the gift of life each day, and spread some cheer along the way. I will keep you posted as to how this new leg of my journey goes. Here’s to living life BIG, making changes to be better, allowing others into my circle, and sharing Jesus’ love with as many people as I can. When my journey on this earth ends I want to hear on the other side, “Good job my good and faithful servant. You ran the race well.”

Why The Donkey?

 I’ve been preparing room in my heart for Jesus this season. Today, as I was reading my devotional, my thoughts shifted from Jesus’ birth to the animal thought to carry Mary to Bethlehem and Jesus to Jerusalem. Yes, I’m talking about the donkey. I couldn’t help but think about Donkey from Shrek when I pictured the donkey, but after a quick giggle, my thoughts returned to Mary, Joseph, and their journey to Bethlehem. Donkeys are supposedly very stubborn, so why the donkey? What is the significance of Mary riding a donkey to deliver the savior of the world? 

Here’s a little tidbit that I found out about donkeys while digging to see why Joseph would put Mary on a stubborn donkey. These little guys are cute, but did you know they can weigh up to 500 pounds? Donkeys are used as pack animals; meaning that they carry goods for their owners. These animals tend to get a bad reputation for being stubborn when in all actuality they are cautious. They will stop and assess the situation when they sense they are in danger. The donkey refuses to move even when its owner tries to get it to move until it feels safe, hence the perception of stubbornness. Could it be that the donkey was the safest and most trustworthy animal to ride; especially for Mary who was nine months pregnant with the savior of the world?

The donkey prefers to walk, not run because it is very cautious about its steps and is acutely aware of its surroundings. This seemingly stubborn animal is actually not stubborn but an overthinker of sorts. I can picture the donkey plodding along the trail carrying Mary on its back being sure to not stumble. The awareness and pace of a donkey indicate that it was the perfect animal for Mary to ride for her journey to Bethlehem. 

The donkey was tasked to carry Mary to Bethelem so she could give birth to our Savior who to this day is still misunderstood. The takeaway from what I’ve learned from my tangent on donkeys is they are misunderstood; therefore they have a reputation for being stubborn and not an animal that people want to be around. I believe if you talk to someone who owns and understands a donkey they will tell you that they are loveable creatures that are simply misunderstood. 

Jesus was misunderstood, but those who spent time with him while he was on this earth realized he was something special. I don’t feel right comparing Jesus to a donkey, but it’s hard for me to not make this connection. The donkey is misunderstood and comes across as rebellious and stubborn to someone who doesn’t understand the creature. When the donkey is more reliable and trustworthy than a horse when it comes to carrying something important. Jesus seemed rebellious to the Pharisees and Sadducees, but he was the most trustworthy of all men. Jesus was carrying with him the message of hope and redemption, but he was most definitely misunderstood. 

I’m not sure of the significance of the donkey, and the last thing I want to do is make something out of nothing especially when it comes to the Bible. I’m not a theologian nor do I claim to know all the symbolism throughout the Bible. I hope this gave you some food for thought. I have a few more questions to leave you with as you ponder the significance of the donkey. How can we be more like a donkey? No, I don’t mean stubborn, as my family will tell you I’m already good in that department. How about being more trustworthy, and doing things in a calculated way that may seem odd to others but brings glory to God? After all, as Christians, we should stand out. Blessings to you my friends!

Laughter

          I’m not sure if there is anything sweeter than hearing a baby belly laugh. Their laughter instantly puts a smile on my face and puts me in a better mood. How many times a day do we laugh as adults? When was the last time you had a good laugh? You know, the laugh that has tears rolling down your cheeks, and you’re about to pee your pants. For most people, I would be willing to bet it’s been a while. We’ve all heard the old saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” so if a simple smile can make you feel better, think what a good laugh can do. Laughter really is good for the soul.

            According to Paul Osincup, a humor strategist, "Research shows that at about the age of 23, our propensity to laugh begins to evaporate, we have more responsibilities.” With this being the case, most of us lose our sense of humor early in life and spend the majority of life not laughing. We become so serious and wrapped up in life that we forget to slow down, laugh, and enjoy the little things in life. There are many benefits to laughter, and the one that stands out to me is the reduction of stress. 

            Not only does laughter reduce stress, but it helps your mental health too. In a world where our mental health is on the decline I believe it’s important to remember what we can do to help improve or maintain our mental health. Laughter doesn’t cost a thing and can be done throughout our day. Laugh…go ahead, smile… Now think of something funny and laugh. Again, I ask, how many times a day do you truly laugh? 

            I work with a great group of ladies and we laugh daily. I honestly can’t remember a day so far this school year that we haven’t laughed. I’m also blessed to have a husband who likes to make me laugh, which means I laugh at home as well. There are times that he will do something or say something that I don’t laugh at, but then I end up laughing because I know it really is funny; I’m just being a stick in the mud. 

            We need to allow ourselves to laugh, relax and live in peace. We need to prioritize the things that are good for our souls. I have found the times that I am able to relax, laugh freely, and enjoy life is when I have peace. This peace comes from accepting where I am in life, who I am, and that God is in control. When I take the time to read my Bible and pray daily I am more likely to be in line with God’s will for my life. It’s not that life isn’t busy or difficult, but I have an understanding that God is for me and that is good enough. 

“For the mind-set of the flesh is death, but the mind-set of the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

Great Expectations

    Growing up I loved this time of year with the holiday cheer. We had half the week off from school for Thanksgiving and two weeks at Christmas. I enjoyed being around my family, especially my cousins. I loved the magic that seemed to be in the air. I loved the music and the lights. I loved going to my grandparents’ house and helping them decorate for Christmas. I loved the crackle of the fire in the fireplace, the hot chocolate, and the smile on everyone’s faces. Then I grew up and people no longer met my expectations.

    I wanted to live in a Hallmark world with love, laughter, and good times all around. I wanted my world to be full of happiness and joy, but reality set in and I realized a Hallmark life doesn’t really exist. My expectations were set just a bit too high for others and myself. Life happened and the magic of Christmas faded with the passing of my grandmother, brother, and grandpa in addition to my kids growing older.

    I stopped allowing myself to enjoy the lights, the music, and the gathering of family and friends. I started focusing on all the negative things about all those personalities being together and allowing the hurt from the memories of loved ones gone to Heaven to consume my thoughts. I didn’t want to be happy, because I felt guilty, but now even though the hurt is still there I look back and smile. I want to be happy, and I want to experience the magic again. My life will never be Hallmark worthy because I’m not perfect and I’m not an actress, but I can take the time to create the magic I want this holiday season.

    Here I sit, with these thoughts running through my head: What if the only reason the magic faded was because of my expectations? What if I stopped thinking of what I hoped Christmas would be and started grabbing each moment and turning it into a purposeful time? What would the holiday season look like when lived out with a purpose?

    This time of year is tough, many people are alone or have lost loved ones and it’s hard to celebrate when our hearts are aching. I want to challenge myself and you to live this holiday season with a purpose. Let our expectations be that we serve the Lord by being his hands and feet and loving others. Call someone and ask them over, because we all benefit from just spending time with someone we care about. If you’re a baker, bake extra and share with those around you. Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing to others. Aching hearts and souls are all around; we don’t have to look far to find them. 

Challenge #1: Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him to move in our lives. 

Challenge #2: Love your enemies, do what is good and lend, expecting nothing in return.

Challenge #3: Do what is right, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.

    These three challenges will look different for each of us. This world is a dark place, but when is there a better time than the holiday season to penetrate the dark with your light. God is willing and ready to meet us where we are. Together, we can make a difference if we will let go of our great expectations of others and ourselves and allow God to be the great expectation. 

“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him, do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way by the person who carries out evil plans.” Psalm 37:7

Distracted

I looked up and saw hurt in my daughter’s eyes, it was then that I realized she had been talking to me for a while and was waiting for me to respond. I had no clue what she said to me, so I couldn’t respond except to apologize for not hearing what she had just said. After seeing the hurt in her eyes I told myself I would put my phone away when anyone was talking to me. I get distracted by my phone constantly. I want to check my text message immediately or scroll through Facebook and Instagram to see what others have posted. I like to look throughout the day to see if anyone has liked what I posted. Sadly, I will admit that looking at my phone in public has become my escape so I don’t have to talk to people. I’m an introvert, and the more people there are around me the more I want to hide or get lost in my phone. 

We live in a world with so many distractions. It seems the new normal is to be distracted by our silly games, or TikTok videos and ignore the people around us. It’s nice to escape from the reality of this dark world, but we are missing the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others when we choose to stay glued to our phones. What would happen if we got lost in God’s word instead of the rabbit holes on our social media accounts? Instead of clicking on the next video to watch; we turned the page of our Bible and read how we should treat our neighbors. 

I don’t think there has ever been a time in history when the entire world has the ability to be connected to each other, yet we are disconnected from those closest to us. We have amazing power at our fingertips to be informed, up-to-date, and serve others. We focus on the likes of strangers instead of building relationships with those who can touch our lives with their hugs and words of encouragement. We forget about the amazing power that lives inside of us as Christians. We never know when we can bless someone or be blessed. God will use us if we’re willing to not be distracted. If we’re going to be distracted by something; let it be that we are so caught up in God’s word that we can’t help but live a life seeking to be His hands and feet.

I don’t want to live distracted. I want to live a life with intention and purpose to God’s call on my life. So, I challenge myself to stay off my phone at certain times during the day or even take a day away from my phone. When I am in public, whether it be at a doctor’s office or at the store waiting in line I purposely put my phone away and pay attention to those around me. When I’m home I try to put my phone aside and focus on my family; especially when my kids and husband are talking to me. I want to make a difference in this dark world. I want to shine my light so that others can know God’s love. Let’s be intentional with God’s instructions on loving others and disperse the darkness with His light. 

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday.” Proverbs 4:18

 

Acceptance

 Acceptance: The action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You have to love yourself before you can truly love others”, and if you’re like me when I first heard this I had two thoughts. One, I can love others without loving myself. I'm doing it right now. My second thought was, how am I supposed to love myself when I’m not good enough? 

At some point, we have to accept who we are, whose we are and that the events in our lives created the person we see in the mirror each day. The best place to start learning how to love yourself and others are the Bible which is the key to unlocking the lock that holds the chains that keep us from being the best possible version of ourselves that God created us to be. After you have the key, you need to use it to unlock the lock of acceptance so the chains can be loosened and unraveled, essentially setting you free. God knows I’ve always struggled with feeling like I was good enough, but He has been working on me. 

Three years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I looked good and I felt good. I was eating healthy, working out, and had plenty of energy. I was strong, both physically and mentally. I was proud of my hard work and dedication to my overall health. Then out of nowhere, or at least it seemed that way; I hurt my back. I couldn’t move without being in severe pain. I was out of work for a week, and once I returned I wasn’t able to do much. I shuffled to my room and desk and sat all day. I returned home, shuffled to my recliner, and was in constant pain. The doctors couldn’t figure out what I did, and a procedure was decided. During that time, which was four months, I started gaining weight and my mental health started to decline. My newfound self-confidence flew out the window as I watched my body slowly transform back into the person I worked so hard to change.

Over the past year, God has opened my eyes to my vanity and made me realize I need to accept who I see in the mirror, no matter my appearance. I need to love the person in the mirror no matter my weight, the color of my hair, or the circles under my eyes. Until I can accept the road I’m on and the person in the mirror I can’t live out my purpose for God. 

Within the last few months, God has shown me that I was becoming too prideful and turning into someone He didn’t want me to be. I wasn’t trusting Him like I should nor was I in His word like I should have been. My back being hurt was the second blow of three that would happen in two years. It caused me to go into a dark place and within the last year, I’ve been able to take steps with the help of God, my husband, and friends to step into the light.

The steps I’ve taken have been shaky, and scary, and I’ve stumbled more than once. God has broken me and humbled me, but at the same time, God is building me into the person he wants me to be. I’ve learned that God doesn’t see the flaws that seem to scream at me consistently throughout the day. He sees my heart. I’ve had to accept that God loves me no matter how I look, act, or feel. Once I accepted that I am enough, I am chosen, and I am loved; the chains started to unravel and I have never felt more free to just be me. Three steps you can take to help you accept yourself are: 

1. Pray for God to reveal His love to you.

2. Read your Bible.

3. Obey God…He won’t steer you wrong.

One day you will look back and see His unfailing love for you. REMEMBER the key to unlocking how to love yourself is the Bible. There you will find, just as I have found, how much you are loved. You have to accept where you are and that God loves you right where you are. Even if you don’t fully believe it, ask God to help you in your unbelief and keep taking those little steps forward. God will guide you the entire way.

 “You yourselves, as living stones, are being built into a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2:5