Laughter

          I’m not sure if there is anything sweeter than hearing a baby belly laugh. Their laughter instantly puts a smile on my face and puts me in a better mood. How many times a day do we laugh as adults? When was the last time you had a good laugh? You know, the laugh that has tears rolling down your cheeks, and you’re about to pee your pants. For most people, I would be willing to bet it’s been a while. We’ve all heard the old saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” so if a simple smile can make you feel better, think what a good laugh can do. Laughter really is good for the soul.

            According to Paul Osincup, a humor strategist, "Research shows that at about the age of 23, our propensity to laugh begins to evaporate, we have more responsibilities.” With this being the case, most of us lose our sense of humor early in life and spend the majority of life not laughing. We become so serious and wrapped up in life that we forget to slow down, laugh, and enjoy the little things in life. There are many benefits to laughter, and the one that stands out to me is the reduction of stress. 

            Not only does laughter reduce stress, but it helps your mental health too. In a world where our mental health is on the decline I believe it’s important to remember what we can do to help improve or maintain our mental health. Laughter doesn’t cost a thing and can be done throughout our day. Laugh…go ahead, smile… Now think of something funny and laugh. Again, I ask, how many times a day do you truly laugh? 

            I work with a great group of ladies and we laugh daily. I honestly can’t remember a day so far this school year that we haven’t laughed. I’m also blessed to have a husband who likes to make me laugh, which means I laugh at home as well. There are times that he will do something or say something that I don’t laugh at, but then I end up laughing because I know it really is funny; I’m just being a stick in the mud. 

            We need to allow ourselves to laugh, relax and live in peace. We need to prioritize the things that are good for our souls. I have found the times that I am able to relax, laugh freely, and enjoy life is when I have peace. This peace comes from accepting where I am in life, who I am, and that God is in control. When I take the time to read my Bible and pray daily I am more likely to be in line with God’s will for my life. It’s not that life isn’t busy or difficult, but I have an understanding that God is for me and that is good enough. 

“For the mind-set of the flesh is death, but the mind-set of the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

Great Expectations

    Growing up I loved this time of year with the holiday cheer. We had half the week off from school for Thanksgiving and two weeks at Christmas. I enjoyed being around my family, especially my cousins. I loved the magic that seemed to be in the air. I loved the music and the lights. I loved going to my grandparents’ house and helping them decorate for Christmas. I loved the crackle of the fire in the fireplace, the hot chocolate, and the smile on everyone’s faces. Then I grew up and people no longer met my expectations.

    I wanted to live in a Hallmark world with love, laughter, and good times all around. I wanted my world to be full of happiness and joy, but reality set in and I realized a Hallmark life doesn’t really exist. My expectations were set just a bit too high for others and myself. Life happened and the magic of Christmas faded with the passing of my grandmother, brother, and grandpa in addition to my kids growing older.

    I stopped allowing myself to enjoy the lights, the music, and the gathering of family and friends. I started focusing on all the negative things about all those personalities being together and allowing the hurt from the memories of loved ones gone to Heaven to consume my thoughts. I didn’t want to be happy, because I felt guilty, but now even though the hurt is still there I look back and smile. I want to be happy, and I want to experience the magic again. My life will never be Hallmark worthy because I’m not perfect and I’m not an actress, but I can take the time to create the magic I want this holiday season.

    Here I sit, with these thoughts running through my head: What if the only reason the magic faded was because of my expectations? What if I stopped thinking of what I hoped Christmas would be and started grabbing each moment and turning it into a purposeful time? What would the holiday season look like when lived out with a purpose?

    This time of year is tough, many people are alone or have lost loved ones and it’s hard to celebrate when our hearts are aching. I want to challenge myself and you to live this holiday season with a purpose. Let our expectations be that we serve the Lord by being his hands and feet and loving others. Call someone and ask them over, because we all benefit from just spending time with someone we care about. If you’re a baker, bake extra and share with those around you. Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing to others. Aching hearts and souls are all around; we don’t have to look far to find them. 

Challenge #1: Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him to move in our lives. 

Challenge #2: Love your enemies, do what is good and lend, expecting nothing in return.

Challenge #3: Do what is right, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.

    These three challenges will look different for each of us. This world is a dark place, but when is there a better time than the holiday season to penetrate the dark with your light. God is willing and ready to meet us where we are. Together, we can make a difference if we will let go of our great expectations of others and ourselves and allow God to be the great expectation. 

“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him, do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way by the person who carries out evil plans.” Psalm 37:7

Distracted

I looked up and saw hurt in my daughter’s eyes, it was then that I realized she had been talking to me for a while and was waiting for me to respond. I had no clue what she said to me, so I couldn’t respond except to apologize for not hearing what she had just said. After seeing the hurt in her eyes I told myself I would put my phone away when anyone was talking to me. I get distracted by my phone constantly. I want to check my text message immediately or scroll through Facebook and Instagram to see what others have posted. I like to look throughout the day to see if anyone has liked what I posted. Sadly, I will admit that looking at my phone in public has become my escape so I don’t have to talk to people. I’m an introvert, and the more people there are around me the more I want to hide or get lost in my phone. 

We live in a world with so many distractions. It seems the new normal is to be distracted by our silly games, or TikTok videos and ignore the people around us. It’s nice to escape from the reality of this dark world, but we are missing the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others when we choose to stay glued to our phones. What would happen if we got lost in God’s word instead of the rabbit holes on our social media accounts? Instead of clicking on the next video to watch; we turned the page of our Bible and read how we should treat our neighbors. 

I don’t think there has ever been a time in history when the entire world has the ability to be connected to each other, yet we are disconnected from those closest to us. We have amazing power at our fingertips to be informed, up-to-date, and serve others. We focus on the likes of strangers instead of building relationships with those who can touch our lives with their hugs and words of encouragement. We forget about the amazing power that lives inside of us as Christians. We never know when we can bless someone or be blessed. God will use us if we’re willing to not be distracted. If we’re going to be distracted by something; let it be that we are so caught up in God’s word that we can’t help but live a life seeking to be His hands and feet.

I don’t want to live distracted. I want to live a life with intention and purpose to God’s call on my life. So, I challenge myself to stay off my phone at certain times during the day or even take a day away from my phone. When I am in public, whether it be at a doctor’s office or at the store waiting in line I purposely put my phone away and pay attention to those around me. When I’m home I try to put my phone aside and focus on my family; especially when my kids and husband are talking to me. I want to make a difference in this dark world. I want to shine my light so that others can know God’s love. Let’s be intentional with God’s instructions on loving others and disperse the darkness with His light. 

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday.” Proverbs 4:18

 

Acceptance

 Acceptance: The action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You have to love yourself before you can truly love others”, and if you’re like me when I first heard this I had two thoughts. One, I can love others without loving myself. I'm doing it right now. My second thought was, how am I supposed to love myself when I’m not good enough? 

At some point, we have to accept who we are, whose we are and that the events in our lives created the person we see in the mirror each day. The best place to start learning how to love yourself and others are the Bible which is the key to unlocking the lock that holds the chains that keep us from being the best possible version of ourselves that God created us to be. After you have the key, you need to use it to unlock the lock of acceptance so the chains can be loosened and unraveled, essentially setting you free. God knows I’ve always struggled with feeling like I was good enough, but He has been working on me. 

Three years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I looked good and I felt good. I was eating healthy, working out, and had plenty of energy. I was strong, both physically and mentally. I was proud of my hard work and dedication to my overall health. Then out of nowhere, or at least it seemed that way; I hurt my back. I couldn’t move without being in severe pain. I was out of work for a week, and once I returned I wasn’t able to do much. I shuffled to my room and desk and sat all day. I returned home, shuffled to my recliner, and was in constant pain. The doctors couldn’t figure out what I did, and a procedure was decided. During that time, which was four months, I started gaining weight and my mental health started to decline. My newfound self-confidence flew out the window as I watched my body slowly transform back into the person I worked so hard to change.

Over the past year, God has opened my eyes to my vanity and made me realize I need to accept who I see in the mirror, no matter my appearance. I need to love the person in the mirror no matter my weight, the color of my hair, or the circles under my eyes. Until I can accept the road I’m on and the person in the mirror I can’t live out my purpose for God. 

Within the last few months, God has shown me that I was becoming too prideful and turning into someone He didn’t want me to be. I wasn’t trusting Him like I should nor was I in His word like I should have been. My back being hurt was the second blow of three that would happen in two years. It caused me to go into a dark place and within the last year, I’ve been able to take steps with the help of God, my husband, and friends to step into the light.

The steps I’ve taken have been shaky, and scary, and I’ve stumbled more than once. God has broken me and humbled me, but at the same time, God is building me into the person he wants me to be. I’ve learned that God doesn’t see the flaws that seem to scream at me consistently throughout the day. He sees my heart. I’ve had to accept that God loves me no matter how I look, act, or feel. Once I accepted that I am enough, I am chosen, and I am loved; the chains started to unravel and I have never felt more free to just be me. Three steps you can take to help you accept yourself are: 

1. Pray for God to reveal His love to you.

2. Read your Bible.

3. Obey God…He won’t steer you wrong.

One day you will look back and see His unfailing love for you. REMEMBER the key to unlocking how to love yourself is the Bible. There you will find, just as I have found, how much you are loved. You have to accept where you are and that God loves you right where you are. Even if you don’t fully believe it, ask God to help you in your unbelief and keep taking those little steps forward. God will guide you the entire way.

 “You yourselves, as living stones, are being built into a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2:5

Lamenting Joel

 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Jesus, do you even care about me?

Jesus, are you there?

Jesus, do you hear my prayers or see my tears?

    The hurt we feel when we lose a loved one can cut so deep that not even a sliver of light can penetrate the darkness that clouds our minds. “They’re in a better place” or “They’re no longer in pain” are said to comfort you, but they do very little to actually bring the comfort you long for. 

    There’s a different story though when your loved one that dies was a known druggie. The phone doesn’t ring, beep, or vibrate. Sure people send their condolences but it’s different. The comforting words aren’t said and most people are thinking one less dope head to worry about or serves them right. 

    The fact is, it doesn’t matter how the person died, the people who are left behind are still hurt. The desire to see, hear and touch your loved one just ONE MORE TIME is overwhelming. All the what-ifs running through your head, and the darkness that overcomes you is still there; but the support you need from the community dries up when the person who died doesn’t match society’s view of a person that deserves to be mourned.

    My brother died of a heart attack on August 12th, 2019. I had just finished volleyball practice when I found out and was heading to my house. The pain from this phone call caused my stomach to knot up and push a golf ball size lump into my throat. I held myself together as I got out of the truck, and found my husband and kids sitting outside. I was expecting to deliver this horrible news to my mom (our mom), but I found her wailing on my kitchen floor with her cell phone facing up. My aunt was on the other end, telling me she was sorry. I cried, of course, and my mom and I immediately packed and drove solemnly for two hours to her house, where my brother had passed away. 

    I, however, held it all together. I was strong until I wasn’t. I broke about a week later. It was Tuesday, game day, and I was determined to be there for my girls, for my team. I made it through our game even though the reality of my brother’s death and the fact that I had not dealt with it was slapping me in the face. I sat quietly, on the bench for the varsity game and as the game ended, my world started to crumble. I jetted out of the gym, snatched my belongings from the coach's office, jumped in my car, and drove home before releasing the loudest, most pain-filled scream to God. 

    In that moment of lamenting, I questioned God. I screamed at God. I couldn’t understand why he would allow me to lose yet another person in my life. Hadn’t I been through enough? It was pitch black outside, and my soul felt just as dark. Just as I was letting out my anger and “letting God have it”, the dome light in the car came on. The light penetrated the dark inside the truck and somehow found its way into my heart. My husband quietly shut the passenger door, reached for my hand, and said, “it’s okay, let it all out, I’ve been wondering how much longer you would make it before breaking.” God sent Nick outside at just the right moment, I put my head on the steering wheel and sobbed. As the tears streamed down my face I knew God heard me and eventually I was going to be okay. 

    You may not feel like God is there. You may not feel like he cares. BUT GOD..is ALWAYS there, he DOES care, and he HEARS your prayers. It just may be that you're sitting in the dark and you can’t see him. God will send someone to reach out to you and to turn the light on so you can see him. He’s there waiting for us to cry out to him and when you do he will carry you through.

Busy

Tired? 

Overwhelmed?

Stressed?

Me too! It’s just the “busy” time of year, at least that is what I keep telling myself. I’ve had several friends ask me recently to pray that they are able to focus on what’s most important in their lives and not get caught up in the rush of life, or the things that can distract them from the important things in their lives. We all tend to take on more than we should, and when we do we become tired, overwhelmed, and stressed. God didn’t create us to live life the way most Americans do. We rush around all the time trying to get so much accomplished, take our kids to everything, and still maintain our health; yet we don’t realize the negative effect that being busy can have on our health holistically. 

This time of year brings excitement, fun, and a sense of community, but it can be overwhelming when we don’t allow ourselves the time to rest, recover, and unwind from the constant coming and going from all the activities we attend. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this time of year and all the activities, but it can hurt us if we don’t slow down enough to spend quality time with God and our family. Our focus shifts from God and family to what event is next, and before we know it a month has gone by without any quality time with God or our family. 

If you’re like me, you become cranky and snippy, then you wonder why no one is talking to you or wants to be around you. I have noticed I need my sleep to function and to stay in a good mood. I also need time to be still, let go of the daily stresses (which I’m not good at letting go of), and rest in God’s presence. I prefer to be outside because it helps me to relax and I connect with God more when I’m outside enjoying His creation, but my schedule doesn’t always allow that. I do my best to set aside time every morning to read my devotional and scripture, pray, and then start my day. I find that I am less cranky or not cranky at all after spending time with God and I’m much more likely to be an encouragement to others.

When you start to feel tired, overwhelmed and stressed; slow down, take a deep breath, and talk to God. Even in our busiest seasons of life God is there and is happy that we are enjoying life, but he created us to need to rest. Ask Him what you can let go of, or say no to so you slow down and stay focused on the important things in your life. Don’t become so caught up in the hustle and bustle of this time of year that you forget about God and your family. You don’t have to say yes to everything you’re invited to. Make God a priority and everything else will fall into place. Live in the moment, don't live for the moments. Remember… one breath at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time. “I lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

Oh FORTY

 “Do not rejoice over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will stand up; though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.” Micah 7:8

40... It’s just a number yet it has some sort of hold on me. It’s scary and exciting. It is knocking at my door, and I’m not quite sure how I want to greet it when I open the door to enter a new decade of my life. Over the past year, I have moved the curtains ever so slightly to peek out the window as others opened the door to 40 to see how 40 greeted them and vice versa. Some greeted 40 with open arms, some solemnly, and others treated 40 as if it were nothing. 40 seems to be a big deal for me, and within this past week, my perspective has changed. 

For many years I looked at 40 and thought, “Life is halfway over when you reach 40, how sad.” As the months dwindled down to weeks, I began going through the ups and downs of being close to 40 and thinking about my life. I looked at my life as a walk through the wilderness, and wondered why my life went the way it did, and just like the Israelites had to wander the wilderness for forty years before they could enter the promised land; I finally realized I had to walk through, okay honestly, sometimes it was waller and crawl through, some tough times to reach where I’m at now. I’m not walking in the promised land, but I’m certainly not in the valley of darkness anymore either. I am entering a new decade of life with a new perspective and a renewed hope that I haven’t had in quite some time. 

My life hasn’t been easy, but the older I get I realize no one escapes this life without some tough times. Some people are blessed with scenic views and rainbows and have very few tough times while others seem to have sharp turns, bridges, potholes, and dead ends. I’ve definitely had more of the bumpy roads with sharp turns and dead ends than scenic views. The enemy has tried to knock me down over and over, but I keep getting up. Instead of looking back on the past forty years and saying how sad, I’m looking back and counting my blessings. I can clearly see where God blessed, guided, loved, and protected me.  If I could write a letter to my younger self I would tell myself to relax, have fun, laugh more, stop trying to make everyone happy, and take care of yourself, but most importantly grow your relationship with Jesus. As I count down the days to turning the big 4-0, I am counting my blessings and I’m amazed at where I came from and where I am now. Without the loving hands of God there is no way I would be where I am now, nor would I be the person I am today. I am rich, not because of the material things that God has blessed me with, but because I have a loving husband, kids, family, friends, and good health. 

Physically, I’m not where I thought I would be at this point in my life, but I’m working on it. Mentally, I am much better off than I was, but I still have work to do. Spiritually, I am moving forward in my walk with the Lord, but still have a ways to go. Overall, I would say 40 is looking better and better. Am I still nervous about what this new decade holds? Yes, because I know there will still be trials and rough roads ahead, but I know who holds my future, so I’m at peace. When the day comes for me to answer the knock at the door to allow 40 to come in I will greet it with a spark in my eye, a smile on my face, and a fire in my soul to live life on purpose; making every moment intentional because from a very young age I was taught tomorrow is not guaranteed. Here’s to 40! Let’s do this!