Share and Heal

   Are you wandering through this journey on earth alone? Are you intentionally walking with your head down, so no one will notice you? Do you put your walls up to keep your heart safe? Let me encourage you to stop doing these things. Let me ask, who are you hurting by being this way? What do you have to lose or better yet what do those around you stand to lose because you are “protecting” yourself? I’m willing to bet you are fun to be around.
    All of my posts are about my thoughts and things that have happened in my life or are happening in my life. This one is no different, but before I go any further I must tell you God is moving and pushing, and yes at times pulling me out of my comfort zone. This blog was just the beginning…and now it’s time for me to do what I just encouraged you to stop doing. Although I am happily married to my wonderful husband of ten years, at times I would feel like I’m wandering this earth alone. (I no longer feel this way, but it has taken years for this to happen.) I have always, until just recently, walked with my head down. Why? So no one would notice me, I don’t want the attention of others and certainly didn’t want to be judged by others. I do my best to walk with my head up. I still find myself walking with my head down, but I can’t help but want to keep my head up, smile and look others in the eye. Why, because I am secure in who I am. I am a child of the ONE TRUE KING and if I smile at someone it just might give them a hope that wasn’t there before I smiled. Now, I don’t mean that to sound conceded. I can’t fix others problems but I sure can share who can fix their problems and I can ease those struggles just for a second with a smile. I am the person who puts walls up and not just one wall but layer upon layer of walls up.  It takes time for someone to knock down all the layers I put up. I can say here lately there hasn’t been as many layers to knock down and that is because I feel the only way to do what I’m called to do …love others…is to be me, not just a piece of me but all of me. I’m the new person in several circles right now. It’s not easy being the new person and I don’t like putting myself out there. The one thing I try very hard at is to just be myself, at all times. (WARNING: I’m not saying to trust everyone, please don’t! I’m saying be who you are and let God guide you to the ones you can trust. He will show you the right people; I know this because He is showing me.)
      Now, for the part I set out to write: 
        Over the past couple of weeks I have had the privilege of eating lunch with several ladies. It has been fun and I’ve learned a lot. Let me say, God has stretched me in this and pushed me out of my comfort zone. Through these “meetings” I have come to the conclusion that people my age and older grew up not telling or sharing their stories. We just didn’t talk about things, especially our parents and grandparents. We were taught to show others everything was “fine”. If something happened in your family you didn’t air the dirty laundry. I’m not saying that we should air our dirty laundry to everyone but I do believe we are called to share our stories and our struggles with those we are comfortable with. In my case, I am sharing even if I don’t feel comfortable because that is what God is calling me to do.  We don’t need to push down or hide our struggles. This can cause our pain to fester and boil over and the pain trickles down to our loved ones. How much hurt and pain could have been healed if only we would’ve shared? How much damage has this done to our walk or to our reputations as a Christian body? If we as Christians walk around saying we are fine all the time, what are we telling those who are lost in this world? Again, I’m not saying you should walk around telling everyone your story but you should share your story. You may be surprised and find that you feel better when you do share. Sharing your story is scary because you become vulnerable. If you can push past the fear of what the other person will think of you and share your story and your struggles not only will you feel a sense of freedom but you could possibly give the other person a glimpse of hope and acceptance.
Have you noticed most women need other women in their lives? I don’t mean just acquaintances. I mean we all need women we share our lives with from the small, silly details to the big I can’t believe this is happening to me details (good and bad). We need women who will go shopping, listen, drink coffee, listen, encourage, listen, pick us up, listen, push us, listen and cheer us on. This list can go on forever but I think you get the point. Did you notice I kept putting listen?  There is a reason we need each other. When we share our stories we allow others to know us on a more intimate level, but we also allow those with similar stories to feel like they are not alone. We need to share our past, present and our dreams. So today, I encourage you to stop pushing your struggles and your story aside. Share your wounds and watch God heal them. Listen to God’s guidance and share with those He is leading you to share with. Let those chains fall and become free from your past and present struggles…God will heal, God will save, Trust in Him and keep walking. (With your head up!) Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

You are not alone

       Alone, this word makes me sad. This is because I have felt alone most of my life.  I struggle with being alone because that’s when my negative thoughts tend to take over. Let me share the definitions of alone from Merriam-Webster.com:
    1. Without anyone or anything else: not involving or including anyone or anything else: separate from other people or things.
    2. Without people that you know or that usually are with you
    3. Feeling unhappy because of being separated from other people.
      I’m not going to sit here and say I don’t like being alone because there are times that I love being alone. When I am alone though, I know I have to guard my mind. The devil likes it when I’m alone because I tend to get caught in his traps of negative thoughts and doubtful thinking. Fortunately, I am able to recognize the lies quicker than I use to. (I still struggle but not as much as I use to) The devil wants you to believe you are alone but God tells us differently. God says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) God said it to Joshua when the Israelites were to go into the Promised Land and He means it for us today.
      Even when you are alone, without another person physically around you; you are not alone. Jesus is with you. We may feel we have no one who understands us but we have Jesus. I use to be upset when others would say, “I know; I’ve had that happen to me.” I was upset because I wanted to be alone in my struggle. This is what the devil wants for you too. He wants you to feel alone and hopeless. If we believe no one knows what I’m going through then we get lost in our sorrows. Now that I’m older and closer to God, I am glad to hear someone else struggles with the same thing or things as me. Why? It’s not because I’m cruel and excited they struggle. No, it’s because I know on some level they will understand what I’m going through. They can help me, listen to me and most importantly pray for me. God did not create us to live like islands on this earth, although I would be much more comfortable if He did. He created us to need each other. We are to carry each other’s burdens.  “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) God puts people in our lives for a reason. Jennie Allen says, “Every one of us has people in our lives whom we need and people who need us.” (Restless, p. 131) We need both types of people so we son't feel alone and also to keep us balanced. I am so thankful that I am never alone. I am at a point in my life where I am intentionally looking for people to join me in my journey. This is mainly because God keeps pointing people out to me and pushing me towards them. (I’m not always eager about this) I can’t say it any better than Jennie Allen:

“We need people who will put their fingers under our chins and lift our heads. I need people ahead of me, shouting back it is worth it. I need deep, kindred souls beside me, making the run more fun and helping me not to feel crazy and alone.” (Restless, p.132)

    I, like Jennie, need these different people in my life. I have been trusting God in pointing these people out to me. I can’t say I know which one they are for sure, but I listen carefully to His voice directing me to these people. Do you have these people in your life? Do you make time for the new people God puts in your life? Do you reach back to encourage others? Do you shout ahead for hope and encouragement? Do you wrap your arms around those beside you? We all need to be pushed, pulled and supported. It’s the only way to ensure that being alone doesn’t take over. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

Sea Turtles

    This will probably seem a bit odd, but hang with me…please. I woke up this morning with this topic on my mind. So, to not postpone any longer…here it goes:
      The life of a sea turtle starts off in a shell that is in a pit. The turtle has to break the shell to start its life. Once out of the shell it has to climb out of the pit. As if this wasn’t hard enough, this little baby has to make its way to the ocean without being eaten. These little turtles are easy prey for crabs and sea gulls. Once they make it to the water it would seem like smooth sailing, but it’s not. The little ones have to learn how to survive in the ocean. They learn where the food is and where safety can be found. The turtles learn what animals are friendly and the ones that will harm them.
       As a Christian I feel like I can compare my life to a sea turtle. Like the sea turtle; the only way for survival in this world is to make it to the Living Water. The Living Water, also known as Jesus Christ, is my life source. He guides me, just like the currents in the ocean guides the sea turtles. I can find shelter in Jesus just like the turtles find shelter in the ocean. The sea turtle is fed, nourished, and grows in the waters of the ocean. As long as I have Jesus in me, I read my Bible, pray and attend church; I am being fed, nourished and will grow in my faith. I’ve had to allow the Holy Spirit to break my shell so He could help me climb out of the pit I was in.  As Christians, we are called to deny self and take up the cross. This is easier said than done and we all know our journey to accepting Jesus can be full of obstacles that try to keep us from the Living Water. Once we accept Jesus and have the Living Water as our life source attacks will still come. Like the turtle, we have to learn how to navigate this new life. We will have people who appear friendly turn out to be not so friendly. We will have sharks in our lives and of course the storms that rage. When this happens seek shelter, guidance and protection from the Living Water. Living in the water doesn’t mean smooth sailing for the turtle and that goes for us as Christians too. The struggles we go through once we are in the water make us stronger and shows us in our weakness He is strong. We can’t go through life without struggles but we can completely trust and lean on Jesus. In the words of Dory from Finding Nemo: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming!” Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)

Point Taken

     Have you ever read something in a book then had someone else tell you the same thing? That’s happened to me several times, but today a light bulb went off when it happened. Some people would call this a coincidence but I say that’s God talking to me. Let me explain…..
      I am reading a book written by Jennie Allen called Restless Because You Were Made For More. This book is digging in my life to the point of making me uncomfortable, but she asks very thought provoking questions. This morning, before I left for church I read a chapter and the one question that stuck out was, “What has God given you to bring him glory here?” In other words what are you good at? What gifts do you have that God has blessed you with? God has been talking to me and was talking very loudly this morning. I was upset with God this morning for asking me to do something I wasn’t ready to do. (Yes, I have asked for forgiveness and yes, I did what He wanted me to do….with almost a smile on my face) I say this, to say I really didn’t think much on that question. My mind was busy with other things this morning. Then low and behold, my Pastor asked almost the same question in his sermon. His question was worded like this, “What tools do you have to reach others?” Whoa, put the brakes on!! When I hear/read the same thing coming in the form of drawing me closer to God it makes my wheels spin.
       The first thing that I think is; is God trying to tell me something? In this instance I can say, I know God is calling me to do something. That something is to speak and write. I’m scared of this but have accepted it and am waiting to see when and where. By accepting this, I have started on a journey that only God could’ve orchestrated. I’m not always eager to be on this journey and here lately I just want to throw my hands up, put my walls up, with draw and say I’m done! When I start feeling like this, I remember that getting out of my comfort zone isn’t going to be easy. I will be attacked with all sorts of things to keep me from doing God’s will. I also remind myself that I put my TRUST in Christ and I know it will all be okay. I may not feel like it is okay at the moment or that I am truly doing what He asks, but I know He is guiding my steps. The best thing for me to do is keep walking, to keep stepping out of my comfort zone no matter how nauseous it makes me, and to not withdraw. God will show me who to trust, and what to do. Actually, He has told me some things already. Right now, as I write this I’m so insecure in what He is calling me to do, but rest assure I’m still walking and talking with Him.
        How different would this world be if we all used our God given gifts for His kingdom? What if we all said, God whatever you ask me to do I’ll do it? So what if we are insecure and scared. God will show you what He wants you to do and He will equip you too. We all have something to give. Forgive me for repeating myself but I ask, what gifts do you have that can be used to reach others for God’s glory? Are you using them? Will you allow God to use you for His kingdom? Just my thoughts and a little glimpse into my life… Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)