OUT OF ORDER

      

                    OUT OF ORDER! 

                    I sure get frustrated when I see that sign hanging on a vending machine when I need a snack or when I finally find a restroom only to see that I will have to keep searching for one that is in order. Has your life ever felt out of order? Mine has, especially here lately; it seems nothing is in order. My house, out of order...my job, out of order...the greatest country in this world, out of order. The scale just keeps expanding to the world. The earth needs a sign on it that says OUT OF ORDER.

                    Let's back up to a little over a year ago, I became one of the high school coaches and though I was hesitant I was excited. Just as the season was starting my brother passed away, and life was not the same. Fast forward to March, spring break came and our lives came to a halt. We weren't allowed to go back to school and my mom moved in. Then we started a kitchen remodel, which is still not completed and so my house became out of order along with my job and life as we knew it. I could go on but as I have talked to friends, coworkers and a few strangers (as I'm not much of a conversation starter) everyone's life seems to be in some way or another out of order. I have tried to stay positive, but it's not been easy especially for someone with anxiety/depression.

                    I guess the question is, what should we do when our life is out of order? I have the answer, although it has taken me months to realize this answer. I have been doing this, but sometimes you just have to be hit over the head to see it. First, we need to try to stop complaining and find joy in the little things, after all, the little things is what matters the most. Second, and I'd say the most important is we need to keep searching for the One who can put our lives back in order. Psalm 119:133-134 says, "Order my steps in thy word; and let not any iniquity have dominion over me. Deliver me from the oppression of man; so will I keep thy precepts." What does that mean, you ask. If we search for God, and we can find him anywhere, but especially if we search for him in His word, the Bible, we will know what to do. He tells us how to live our lives. By reading his word, we will be able to understand Him better, walk with Him, and keep His commands. When we do this, the oppression of man can't hold us down. God is for us and we just need to trust Him. 

                    When you do this, your life may not go back to the exact same way you think or even want it to, but when you seek God and His word your life will start changing. You will notice things are being put in order. Sometimes it's the big things in your life and we notice immediately, and sometimes it's the little things, and it takes a bit longer to see. I challenge you to write your prayers out for a month, spend time with God daily for a month, and see how your thoughts change. This world may be OUT OF ORDER but it doesn't mean your life has to be. Keep your eyes on Jesus. There you will find order, peace, love and acceptance. I'll leave you with these two verses:

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." 2 Thessalonians 3:16. 

"Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth." Colossians 3:2 

         

CHAOS

Choose
Him
Above
Other
Sources


     Wow! How quickly the world seems to have been turned upside and down and come to a complete stop. The recent turn of events has left me and my family wondering what's next. As I stayed home today from church more for my mental health than for any other reason I reflected on my personal life in comparison to the world. Honestly, they match up at this moment yet deep down I have peace, somewhere within my soul "it is well".  This verse could be why, "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14:33
     I can honestly sit here and say with all the fear that seems to be running rampant in this world today and for good reason, I am not afraid. This isn't because I'm not concerned about the virus outbreak, but because I know who is in control. You see, my God has this. It is a time of confusion, doubt, fear, and unknown, but do you know that God can and will give you His peace. When you're confused go to him. When you have doubt about your future; go to him. When you are full of fear, no matter the type of fear; go to him. When you are faced with the unknown; go to him. Peter tells us to do that in 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you."
     There is so much uncertainty in the world right now, and even in my personal life, not just because of the virus but because of personal things. We can choose to live in that uncertainty and get worked up over it, which I have done or we can choose to trust God and give Him control. Sadly, I did the first choice before realizing I'm not making the situation any better and have now decided that God knows best and I'm trusting in Him. I knew this but got caught up in the what ifs instead of just going with the flow and trusting God.
     I sit here and think about my kids and my students and wonder how they will handle all the uncertainties that we are being faced with and I remember the innocence of my childish thoughts. For some strange reason, as a kid, I thought life as an adult would be easier, but that was completely wrong. Our kids know more than we knew at their age, because they have access to the same information we do. We have to help them not overreact to the unknowns of today and tomorrow, but to teach them in these times we must rely on the ONE who created us. He can and will see us through the unknowns, he will strengthen our faith, he is our hope and our peace.
     As we all face the world in this chaotic state, may we remember to choose Him above other sources for our hope, peace, and strength. "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." 2 Thessalonians 3:16.

What are you doing to make a difference?

"Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are." – Martin Luther King Jr.

     I've been rather busy today, but the whole day my mind hasn't wandered too far from the work of Martin Luther King, Jr. In many ways his "I have a dream" speech has come to fruition but in many ways we are still a long ways from being where he dreamed we would be today. I can only speak from my perspective and my white culture, so you may or may not agree with me and that's okay. I see the injustice of many races and it saddens my heart. The media today wants us to hate each other, they promote hate, and drive home the racial differences and injustices to which many respond with violence. 
     Can I challenge you to set aside your culture, political beliefs, and race and instead look at the truth? What truth, you ask? I'm not talking about the truth that I see through my eyes, because my reality is different from the next person, whether that person lives in the same house as me, is my neighbor, works with me, or is a stranger on the street. The truth I'm talking about is found in the Bible. There is no favoritism from God. "Then Peter began to speak: 'Now I really understand that God doesn't show favoritism, but in every nation the person who fears Him and does righteousness is acceptable to Him." Acts 10:34-35  What is righteousness? According to the web and oxford dictionaries righteousness means: the quality of being morally right or justifiable. The person who fears God and does what is morally right is acceptable to God and this is what we should strive for daily. 
     I'm not sitting here saying that I'm perfect but I am saying that I do try my best to what is right. How much different would this world be if we tried daily to fear God and do what was morally right? Not fear God in a sense of being scared, although we should fear his wrath, but fear him in a respectful manner; like you would fear getting in trouble from your parents for not doing what was right. If we all did what was right, not by man's standards but by God's standards we would be so much closer to the dream Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had all those years ago. 
     I'm going to issue you another challenge. As we continue through this week, month, and year think about ways you can make a difference. Then actually do those things. But, I don't have the money to do what I want to do. I don't have the time to do what I'd like to do. People might think I'm weird if I start doing things for others. STOP with the excuses! You don't need money to make a difference, you really don't even need a lot of time to change a life, and who cares what others might think of you. (Tough one I know) All it takes is a smile, a kind word, a helping hand to make a difference, but by all means, if you can afford to do something big....do it! Listen to God and He will guide you. Go out and make a difference! "Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth." Colossians 3:2 

Word for 2020

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2

     Before I could settle on a word or allow myself to accept my word for 2020 I needed to reflect on my word for 2019. As I sat back in my chair and allowed myself to think of the entire year I laughed at the word/phrase God gave me. Giggling, I told God, you told me to be still and you showed me how to be still and rely on you at the beginning of the year with buying a new home. As the year progressed I began to realize what be still meant, or at least I thought. Then August hit, and a whole new meaning of be still came to play when my brother passed away. In my grieving, I was still, sometimes too still, but I never lost hope or my faith. I kept telling myself that God's ways are not my ways and that by being still I would get through this dark valley in my life. I'm thankful that God put that phrase on my heart this time last year, and for the lessons He taught me. I'm looking forward to the new year and what God has in store for me and my family.
     My word for 2020 is FOCUS. Focus seems like such a cliche, but as I accepted the word God put on my heart and knowing the lessons I learned from this past year I had some questions about focusing and being successful with incorporating such a word in my life. I mean after all I seem to be a pretty focused person, well, until four months ago. So, me being the writer that I am, and a teacher I sat down and asked God to show me the answers to the following six questions.

     Who should I FOCUS on?
Of course, I know that I should focus on God first and in all things and all ways, but what next? I am going to focus on Christ by seeking the Kingdom of God first, then I will focus on Nick by supporting and praying for him. Next in line of course are my kids, I will guide, support, and pray for them. Last, but certainly no least, I am going to focus on myself by doing things to help my health holistically. I will do things to ensure that my mental, physical, and spiritual health are being taken care of to the best of my ability.

     What should I FOCUS on?
There's three answers to this question. 1) I should focus on my thoughts. "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable-if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things." (Philippians 4:8) 2) I should focus on my actions. "Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved." (Proverbs 16:3) 3) I should focus on my words. "No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear." ( Ephesians 4:29)

     When should I FOCUS?
The answer to this question seems to be simple...I should focus at all times. This will keep me busy..right.

     Where should I FOCUS?
The first place I should focus is at HOME! "Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) I need to set a routine that shows my family that I am putting Christ first, then Nick and the kids and by taking care of myself. Our kids learn by our actions more than they learn by our words. Then I should focus at work and make sure Christ stays first. This should carry into wherever I go. I should be so focused on Christ no matter where I am others will notice His light or at least that something is different.

     Why should I FOCUS?
God revealed to me three verses to help me answer this question. I am a worrier, born and bred and I get it quite honestly from my grandmother. I should focus on God to remember that He will always take care of me. God pointed me to Matthew 6:33, and though it is not the do not worry verse from Matthew, God showed me this verse to help me see that if I focus on Him all the above mentioned things will be provided for me. Another reason why I should focus on God is to stay close to Him because the devil is looking for ways to make me stumble. "Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour." (1 Peter 5:8) The last answer that God gave me was because I am made to bring God glory, and if I don't focus on Him then I will not be the person I was created to be nor will I bring Him glory. People are watching and so I should be so focused on God that I don't notice they are watching, but they notice Christ in me. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

     How should I FOCUS?
The best way to stay focused is to be in God's word daily. There is nothing that the Bible can't help me handle. "All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

     As the new year starts and all  the excitement fades into the mundane of life I pray that I am able to stay focused on God. No matter what happens in 2020 I will do my best to remain focused on God. When I stay focused on God I will at times have to be still just so I can focus and hear what He is telling  me. May God bless you throughout this year! "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2

Looking Back

For the past month I have been trying my best to count my blessings. At times it comes easily to see the blessings before me, but there are times that I am overcome by the sorrow of losing my brother and can't seem to find the light. Finally, in the last week, I have been able to look back over the past year and was finally able to recall my blessings. This past year was filled with ups and downs. I'm going to give you a run down of my year. 

The year started off with Nick and I making a decision to not put our house on the market after praying for a month because we really wanted out of the house. Then out of the blue a house that Nick wanted to live in since he was little went on the market. We knew the realtor so I just asked if we could look at the house with no real intention of buying the house. We loved the house but didn't think we could afford it. By February we were in the process of buying the house and we moved in over spring break in March. The whole house buying experience was all God. The first three months of last year was nothing but blessings. The blessings continued to pour out and life was wonderful. My daughter tried out and made the majorette line at her school and my son graduated from 8th grade. My momma heart was full and I was ready to take on new challenges. 

I enjoyed the summer with my family and adjusting to living in our new home. Then just as I was starting up my new coaching position my brother died. I seemed to fall into a dark, endless pit. I had to keep going and I just didn't want to. My birthday came a month later and I really don't remember much of it between coaching and my grieving, but what I can tell you is God allowed me to see another year. My volleyball team kept me going. They cried with me, laughed with me, and worked hard to be a true team. They were a blessing to me. 

The last four months of the year was my valley. I am not sure how I made it through to this point. I honestly don't remember much other than feeling sad with moments of hope sprinkled throughout that time. I had some help from friends and family, but also being aware of my mental health allowed me to cling to the hope that I have in the Lord. 

2019 was a year that started with a high and ended with a low. As I am starting to come out of the pit and see the light I am determined to move forward in 2020. I can't wait to see what this year holds, as I know there will be more ups and downs, as that is life, but I have several goals/dreams to go after and plan to accomplish in the new year. Blessings to you and your family! Here's to the end of a chapter, a year, a decade, and to the start of a new chapter, a year and decade. Dream big! Hold tight to God and His promises, say I love you those you cherish, and remember to live with no regrets. 

JMW

Joel Mark Whitmire

   You were named after our dad, Mark, and his dad, our grandpa, Joel. 
   You were special in so many ways, yet you never saw that and succumbed to the thoughts in your head allowing a powerful addiction to overtake you.
   Your already weak body, due to diabetes, could only handle so much and I'm afraid by the time you took back the power your body was too tarnished to deal with the ailments of having an auto immune disorder. 
   My heart hurts daily because you're gone, but I will no longer let the pain rule me. I have a new drive now, a new focus, and a new story to tell. A reason to share my hurt and praying it helps others.
   We grew up under the same roof, with almost the same rules, and we both wanted to escape.  You were introduced to something that would help numb the hurt and it took you prisoner, while I took my escape by leaving home, going to college, getting married, and starting a family. We both were numbing the hurt but in different ways. I never understood why you went that route and I never will, but your life is a story to be told. You had so much potential, you were smart..gifted and talented. I remember as a kindergartner you learned multiplication facts faster than me just by listening to me trying to memorize them. Many more ups and downs came and by the time we were in high school I was so frustrated with how easily you learned new information and how much I struggled, but yet I was still able to make good grades. I always had to work harder than you in everything. You, my brother, were both athletic, smart and charming with the biggest heart that you didn't want anyone to know about. Like me, you were afraid to show how much you cared. 
     As you celebrate your first Christmas in heaven, I'm reflecting on the Christmases we had as children and our last Christmas together which I won't ever forget. You looked good, but you had suffered another stroke and wasn't able to move or talk the way you wanted and it frustrated you. Drugs, I despise you for what you did to my brother. I despise you for ruining his life and leaving mine with a void. Joel Mark Whitmire, your life is a story worth telling and sharing and prayerfully will lead others to God and keep them from numbing the hurt the way you did.  Merry Christmas in Heaven, Bubba. I love you! 

God's Timing

I wish I could remember exactly how long ago it was that Nick and I read the book, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  If I were to take a guess, I would say it was about 7 years ago, because I remember the kids being little. The book is based on Jericho and circling your dreams. At the time we wanted to sell our house, we desperately wanted to move to a nice brick home with land or a pool or by the lake, honestly; we didn’t care too much, we just wanted out of the one we were in. As we read the book, we decided to circle our house. Just as God told Joshua to do at Jericho, we did at our house. Each day for a week, we walked around our house and prayed. The first day we walked around it once, the second day twice, and so on and so on. Some days we prayed out loud and others we prayed silently. I’m sure we looked like crazy folks to our neighbors and the kids were small so they joined in for part of the march and played in the back yard when they were tired of walking.
After the week of circling our house we put our house on the market. Not a single person wanted to look at our house. The timing just wasn’t right, and so feeling defeated and like God didn’t answer our prayer we took the house off the market. A couple of years went by and we got the itch to move again, so we put the house back on the market and started dreaming of the house we would make our home. This time, we did have people look at the house, but no offers came, and once again we took the house off the market. We felt as if we would never get out of that house. There were times I cried because I couldn’t stand the house we were in. As time went by, God started showing me how privileged I was to have a house, running water, clothes, food to eat, two cars, and I was richer than majority of the world, so I really needed to stop complaining.
I grew to appreciate my house. I was making wonderful memories with Nick and the kids and the house was just that...a house. It was just a thing, an item that we owned by the grace of God and one that allowed us to take care of our family the way we needed to without wondering how we were going to make it, although there were times when that thought did cross our minds. Fast forward to this past summer, 2018 and that itch of wanting a new house came back. Instead of rushing into selling our house, we prayed about it and decided to wait. Around November we were discussing putting the house back on the market in the spring and decided to pray. Over Christmas break after much prayer and discussion, we decided that the timing wasn’t right and we would wait another year before putting the house on the market. It would allow us to get rid of some debt and to pay the house down more so we could ask for an amount that seemed fair for our house.
God must have been laughing, because this is not what happened. I will give you a brief version of how God has been working in our lives over the past three months. A beautiful old house that Nick always wanted to buy came up for sale. We knew the realtor so I sent her a message and asked if we could see the house. She showed us the house the next day and told us there were offers coming in and if we wanted it we needed to let her know soon. We fell in love with the house but knew it wasn’t feasible because of the down payment. We prayed about it and let her know it wouldn’t work out. The next morning as I was getting ready for church I felt like we were supposed to put an offer on the house, but wasn’t 100% sure if it was just my emotions or God. I told Nick and we didn’t really talk about it much. Later that day Nick got a phone call urging him to put the offer on the house and not to worry about money. Which is crazy, because we are both school teachers and have no real way of making extra money without getting a second job. That night we decided to make an offer. Three days later our offer was accepted. We couldn’t believe that they accepted our offer. We didn’t know what we would do with our house and decided to pray about it. We went back and forth as to whether we should rent or put it back on the market, after all; we know the luck we’ve had with selling it. A little over a month later we closed on our new house and moved over spring break. We decided to put our old house on the market and see what would happen. We talked to the realtor and she agreed that we could have a short term contract so we wouldn’t have to make months of double house notes.
God is good! The house was on the market a few days and we had someone look at it. Then a week and another person, and shortly after that another person. Then an offer came and as Nick and I talked it over we couldn’t believe how quickly things were moving. We accepted the offer and about six weeks after putting our house on the market we signed the contract that officially said the house was no longer ours. I’m still in shock at how God works. There is so much more about this story, and where we live, and what is now our forever home. Even though I thought God wasn’t answering our prayer to get a new house, he was. He heard my prayers and saw my tears, but what he wanted from us was to appreciate what we had. We had to learn to be content with what we were given before we could appreciate this wonderful gift we have now.
If it seems God isn’t answering your prayer right when you asked, please know he is listening and he’s working. God doesn’t sit still and he’s going to work things out and they will be so much more, so much better than you ever dreamed of. Keep trusting in Him! Dream big, be bold, be still and let God do the work. God loves you and he hears you! Until next time: “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10