JMW

Joel Mark Whitmire

   You were named after our dad, Mark, and his dad, our grandpa, Joel. 
   You were special in so many ways, yet you never saw that and succumbed to the thoughts in your head allowing a powerful addiction to overtake you.
   Your already weak body, due to diabetes, could only handle so much and I'm afraid by the time you took back the power your body was too tarnished to deal with the ailments of having an auto immune disorder. 
   My heart hurts daily because you're gone, but I will no longer let the pain rule me. I have a new drive now, a new focus, and a new story to tell. A reason to share my hurt and praying it helps others.
   We grew up under the same roof, with almost the same rules, and we both wanted to escape.  You were introduced to something that would help numb the hurt and it took you prisoner, while I took my escape by leaving home, going to college, getting married, and starting a family. We both were numbing the hurt but in different ways. I never understood why you went that route and I never will, but your life is a story to be told. You had so much potential, you were smart..gifted and talented. I remember as a kindergartner you learned multiplication facts faster than me just by listening to me trying to memorize them. Many more ups and downs came and by the time we were in high school I was so frustrated with how easily you learned new information and how much I struggled, but yet I was still able to make good grades. I always had to work harder than you in everything. You, my brother, were both athletic, smart and charming with the biggest heart that you didn't want anyone to know about. Like me, you were afraid to show how much you cared. 
     As you celebrate your first Christmas in heaven, I'm reflecting on the Christmases we had as children and our last Christmas together which I won't ever forget. You looked good, but you had suffered another stroke and wasn't able to move or talk the way you wanted and it frustrated you. Drugs, I despise you for what you did to my brother. I despise you for ruining his life and leaving mine with a void. Joel Mark Whitmire, your life is a story worth telling and sharing and prayerfully will lead others to God and keep them from numbing the hurt the way you did.  Merry Christmas in Heaven, Bubba. I love you!