My Fear

Fear, what is it and why do feel it? To have fear is to be afraid. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18) Fear is not of God, because God is love. Let’s dig a little deeper with my thoughts on this….will you join me?

I turned 32 today. It’s been just like every other Monday so far this school year, rough. The one thing that keeps me thinking is the number 32. I have dreaded this age since I was 7, more realistically, probably 14. Why do I dread 32? This is the age my dad was when he died. I know, it was his life, not mine. I see things differently though. I see how much God has blessed me but that little bit of fear is still there. What fear you ask?

The fear that before this year is up, I will no longer be here. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Lord and can’t wait to meet him, but I still don’t want to leave my family. I’m selfish in that way. The thing about fear is no matter the size of it, if you’re not careful it will grow. I haven’t really dwelt on this today, but felt the need to share. I’m sharing, so others will know and pray for me. Pray that I will not stop doing what God has asked me to do because I’m waiting for my card to be punched. The devil wants this, he wants me to stop living; especially for God. So, the other reason why I am sharing my silly fear with you is so I can be held accountable and the devil will realize I’m not slowing down, not giving in and not going to let this little bit of fear paralyze me.

In a way, I faced my fear today. I didn't call in sick, or go home early. I faced the day, now 364 more to go! Here I sit, determined not to let my past rule over me. I am me, not my dad, not my mom, but me! My life will be lived with the intensity of finishing my race strong. So, here is to my head held high, shoulders back, spine straight, feet shoulder’s width apart.

I’m ready…..I’m ready……I’m ready! 

God please use me, make me into the person you created me to be.

What’s your fear? Thanks for reading mine. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)