Your Choice

Your Choice

Last Sunday my Pastor gave a sermon that has my mind swirling. I like those sermons because I tend to reflect and write on them. He gave three take home points and I will focus on one of those today. I’m sure the other two will be a post in the near future. Before I start I feel like I should share that no matter what you are facing God is good. 

"When we make the choice to indulge in our sin, who else is going to pay for our choices?"

Ouch! Did you feel that? Yeah, me too, my toes hurt!! Our day is filled with choices to make and most of them are small. The small choices we make daily add up to a big choice over a lifetime. We get so caught up in the mundane choices of each day that we forget or don’t realize the affects they have on our lives. One choice starts a ripple in our lives and others around us and we will never know just how many lives it will touch. Just like our lives the Bible is full of choices that were made that affect us today. Some are obvious but I want to focus on the lineage of Jesus and more specifically King David and Joseph.

King David made choices even before he became king that set him up to be a man that Israel would follow and God would bless. David was but a shepherd boy when he defeated Goliath. We all know the story, but David made two choices that day that still has a ripple in our lives. The first choice David made was to fight Goliath, but he made the choice to help out his father. “and it shall be that the man who kills him the king will enrich with great riches, will give him his daughter, and give his father’s house exemption from taxes in Israel.” (1Samuel 17:25b) David wanted these things for himself and for his father and as we know David became wealthy. His second choice that day reflected his faith and trust in God and is part of what set him on the path to be blessed by God. “Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you.” (1Samuel 17:45-46aNKJV) David didn’t say if God will help me defeat you, he said, “the Lord will deliver you into my hand.” God is sovereign and in control, but what if he hadn’t of been so bold in his faith? What if you were bold in your faith?

The second man that I want to talk about is Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father, his step-father so to say. I’m sure Joseph was very confused when he found out Mary was pregnant. He had a choice to make, and even though it doesn’t seem like his choice had much of a ripple effect on our lives it was a big choice to make. Joseph wasn’t sure about Mary and was going to divorce her secretly, but an angel talked to him and he chose to listen. “Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:19-21 NKJV) There was nothing special about Joseph, he like most men, wanted to divorce Mary when he found out she was pregnant with a child that wasn’t his. Again, God is sovereign and in control, but what if he hadn’t listened to the angel? Do you listen to God when he speaks to you?

God did not choose a mighty warrior to defeat the giant and he didn’t choose a king to be the father of Jesus. God picked a small, lowly shepherd boy to defeat a giant and mighty warrior. God picked a lowly carpenter to receive Jesus as his son. Why did he choose them? God knew their hearts. They both had faith in God and wanted to do what was best in God’s sight. Back to the question that I first asked: "When we make the choice to indulge in our sin, who else is going to pay for our choices?" Thankfully these two men made a choice that has blessed believers, but what about the choices we make daily? If we decide to be grumpy, to complain and give in to our temptations on a much deeper level who will feel the ripple of our choices? The obvious answer is your family, your spouse and children and to some extent your friends, especially those close to you. The truth is, not only do our choices send out ripples to our loved ones, but they extend to our family we’ve yet to know, like our grandkids. Last, but most importantly the choice to indulge in your sin hurts your relationship with God. The choice to give in may seem like a small choice today, but at the end of your life will that small temptation, that one time of giving in, will it cause you to regret the path it led you on? The choice is your choice, but remember this life, your life isn’t about you, it’s about God and his plan. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you” Numbers 6:24

Just One More

Just One More

My goal with this post, and with all my posts is to glorify God. I try my best to be open and honest and to show I’m not perfect. Today God wanted me to show some more of my imperfections, I wasn’t perfect, I’m not perfect and never will be perfect. I make bad decisions and deal with the consequences just like everyone else.

            Just one more, it seems we are born wanting one more. Babies want one more bite, toddlers want one more cookie (ya know, one for both hands), while kids want just one more minute to sleep on a school day. Teenagers want just one more minute on the phone and college kids want just one more hour of sleep or to study. Our just one more grows more and more until adulthood and we then want just one more dollar.

            How much do we gain from just one more? What are we looking for with just one more? Our selfishness causes us to want just one more and usually the answer is instant gratification in some form or another. We want to instantly feel better, look better or just be better. The older we get the temptation becomes greater for instant gratification. One that kills the pain, hides our hurts and please our senses. If we’re not careful we find ourselves asking for just one more: drink, bite, puff, look, hour, pill, and outfit. It seems funny to put these things together because some seem harmless while others are obviously wrong. All things can be used for the wrong reasons.

           Eve was tempted with just one more thing to eat. Adam and Eve had everything in the Garden of Eden except for one tree that had fruit. This tree was called the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God told them not to eat from that tree. The serpent tempted Eve with just one more thing to eat. The fruit from the tree was good, so what was the harm? She had the perfect life, why would she want anything else? It seems we are wired to always want just one more. There is something about “just one more” that comforts us. Just one more can lead to something good but it can also lead to destruction; self-destruction. Oh, how happy the devil is every time we give in to the temptation of just one more that leads to a path of guilt and self-hatred. 

           The statement just one more is a pretty popular phrase with teenagers and some adults. I was no different. As a teenager I looked forward to the weekends that we would have people over because that usually meant wine coolers, Boones Farm or if we were lucky Strawberry Margaritas. The sweet, fruity taste drew me in every time and I wanted just one more. My favorite was coconut rum, coke and cherries. I would drink those just until I was happy. I liked being happy and I could accomplish this with just one more drink. It was the best thing because I didn’t feel the hurt deep inside of me. My hurt was washed away with every drink and I was accepted for doing what everyone else was doing. It was a win-win situation. On my 19^th birthday, we had a party, it’s not one I’m real proud of but it happened. I drank until I was drunk, enjoying every last drop of coconut rum, cherries and coke and the sudden rush of happiness it brought me. For once in my life I was outgoing, I was making people laugh, and felt accepted. Until it was time for the party to end and I wasn’t so happy, I turned into a sappy drunk. That was my first and last time I drank to get drunk. The next morning I woke up to a room spinning and very bright lights, not to mention a horrible headache. I may have felt wonderful the night before, but my just one more drink left me feeling horrible the next day.

          How many times have you asked for just one more which led to one more? There are other ways we can satisfy our need for instant gratification. Try spending just one more minute playing with your child and watch the smile creep across their face. Guaranteed gratification right there. Talk just one more minute on the phone to a loved one you don’t see very often. Take just one more minute to send a text or write a note to someone letting them know they are appreciated and loved. Give just one more hug and just one more smile. Give just one more hour to someone who needs you to listen. Spend just one more minute or hour with God. He will be happy either way because you spent time with him. 

            It’s easier to ask for just one more to hide and cover up our pain and troubles, because this doesn’t make us as vulnerable, or so we think. What would happen if we decided to give just one more minute of our time to others; to God? Slowly, you will find you don’t need just one more drink, bite, or puff. Your pain and troubles can be transformed by spending just one more minute with God and sharing with others. We all want just one more of something-what’s your one more? Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you” Numbers 6:24 

~Please comment below what your one more is and I’ll share what mine is. Have a blessed day!

Fall Leaves

Fall Leaves

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV)

This past weekend my family and I drove down to visit my mom and grandmother. Our visit wasn’t long, but God took the opportunity to speak to me on the drive down. While driving I noticed the leaves have started changing colors and I saw an abandoned house crumbling to the ground that I hadn’t seen before. As I was noticing all these things it hit me that like the trees we have a reason for the seasons in our lives. There are many times we don’t realize we are in a season until we are in the middle or out of it. Could this be because we are so focused on what’s ahead that we don’t notice the changes of today? Not every change is monumental, but the small choices of today will add up to a big change one day.

We all know that the seasons of nature can parallel the seasons of our lives. I had an epiphany about fall and its purpose. The leaves on the trees change colors because the tree is preparing to support new growth. The trees have gone through a lot in a year and they need to let go of some old things (leaves) to support the new things. To those of us who get to enjoy the seasonal changes we don’t always think of the changes of a tree as a growing process. We tend to not pay attention to the buds on the tree, but we notice the flowers when they have bloomed. We see the blast of fall colors but seldom notice the beginning of the leaves changing colors. Why, because we are so wrapped up in our lives we fail to see the small changes. Sound familiar?

While each season is important to the trees’ growth as is each season in our lives, could it be that fall is the most important? Fall, to me, represents the change that has taken place in my life. It shows how God has used a year to mold me into the person he wants me to become. When I notice my changes, then and only then can I appreciate the beauty of what was and what will be. As we change, we let go of things that hurt us, or are keeping us from what God has planned. We realize some things, these things can be past hurts, scars, a treasure, a light at the end of the tunnel that were hidden from us in other seasons. The beauty of this is we can now grow. God is allowing us to let go of these things so we can grow. Like a tree, a healthy Christian is constantly growing. We don’t always notice that we are growing, and that is why fall is so important. We slow down a bit and notice the changes around us and hopefully within us. The season we are in will change and yes, there will be dry seasons, but at the end of that season is always a blessed season. The seasons of our lives are meant to help us become who we are meant to be in God. Fall leads to winter which leads to spring, then to summer and the cycle continues. So, will your life, friends will come and go, people will be born and die, you will have happy and sad moments, through it all God is with you, shaping you. Stay close to him and celebrate the season you are in. Take time today to think about what season you are in and what season you were just in. Give thanks to God for being with you today and yesterday and for going ahead of you to lead the way. Blessings to you and yours this beautiful fall day. Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you” Numbers 6:24  

This life

This life

Today, just like every day, I have a choice to make. Today, I choose to be bold and courageous. I choose to stand out in a crowd, to be different, odd, and my favorite, WEIRD. Today’s choices create my life, the memories I will look back on and smile at or shake my head. This life, the one I’m living in today; because of the grace of God, hasn’t been what I had planned.

My dreams, my goals, my life with the fairy tale theme, you know the one all girls have when they are teenagers, hasn’t happened. Funny how life happens. Don’t get me wrong, some of my dreams and goals have come true and have been accomplished but they didn’t go down the path I thought they would. The road that lead me to the victories was not the one I dreamed of. I was sure life would be easier as an adult, and everything would be sparkly and shiny and happy…lol…I think you get the picture.

Have you noticed all the I’s and my’s? My life, is a gift and I need to remember this daily. The day I decided to follow Jesus is the day that the I/my should’ve changed to his/him. It didn’t happen quickly, but it has started happening. I’m not good at letting my life be a life directed by God for him and his glory. I realize now that letting go of my plans, my dreams and realizing what His dreams/plans are, is the only way I can live for him. I had a pretty good life planned out, I was chasing those things and checking them off my list one by one. My plan and God’s plan didn’t exactly match up, some of it did, and some of it didn’t. We all know God’s plan is far greater than we can imagine, but letting go and trusting him completely with MY life is a lot easier said than done.

As I let the decisions I’ve made through prayer and conviction sink in, I’ve shed a few tears and had my doubts. Just when I think how silly I am for following God, someone steps in and sends an encouraging text. I will share what I’m doing with someone and instead of shame I get shock and acceptance. I keep expecting people to tell me how dumb my decision was or at least how silly it was, but instead I get I’m happy for you and let me know when you publish a book, I want to read it. I also hear, tell me when you speak because I want to hear you. All uplifting to me, and I’m so thankful to God for those people who lift me up instead of knocking me down. No matter what is in front of me He will always be with me and in control.

          This life, when I pick up my cross (t), becomes his life, one lived for him. To Him be the Glory! Here's to a life focused on carrying my cross so His light can shine in this dark world. Will you pick up your t and let this life become a life for his glory? Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you” Numbers 6:24         

You're Religious

Not too long ago I was called religious. I was taken back and wasn’t sure it was a compliment or an insult. Later that day, I told my husband I was called religious, he laughed and said, “You are”. I then went on to explain why I wasn’t sure I wanted to be called religious. When I think religious, I think of a building, traditions, and people going through the motions and people who are fake. I’m thinking Pharisees. Everything on the outside is shiny and clean but not the inside. “They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” (2 Timothy 3:5 NLT) In my eyes, being religious is fake and by fake I mean this: you do one thing during the week and one maybe two days out of the week you act as if you weren’t doing those things. Hear me on this, we all do things during the week that we feel bad about, but in order to be forgiven we have to admit our wrongs. If you go throughout your day, week, or life and you don’t ask to be forgiven for your mistakes (sins) then you are missing a wonderful gift called grace.  

I hope I do not come off as this way. I do my best to be me all the time and show my stains, scars and the areas God has gracefully cleaned up. So please don’t call me religious, I prefer to be called a Christ follower, a Christian.  Someone who is actively and wholeheartedly following Jesus Christ. This person doesn’t see the building as the only “church” and takes Jesus with him/her throughout the week, and listens to what God is saying to him/her. I would much rather be known as a crazy, off the wall, peculiar person than a religious person. So, thank you for trying to set me apart by calling me religious, but please be cautious when using this word, it stings my soul. To call someone religious seems harsh and cold, but you call them a Christ follower and it changes to warm and welcoming.

When following Christ, you can see his light in that person. Their deeds are done bringing glory and honor to God, yet without seeking glory for themselves. A religious person is more apt to do a good deed seeking glory for themselves, again think Pharisees. The next time you think about calling someone religious, think, are they religious or following Christ? Before I started truly following Christ I didn't think there was a difference, but the difference is there…it’s the same difference between the Old and New Testament of the Bible. One has Jesus and one doesn’t. It’s all about a relationship with Jesus Christ. What are you doing to grow your relationship with him? Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you” Numbers 6:24         

Best of both worlds

    I enjoy reading books that make me ask questions and think. The summer of 2013, I posted about a book written by Jennie Allen titled, “Anything”, and that book still has me thinking and asking questions. I know, it’s surprising my memory goes that far back. As I was reviewing some of the questions I wrote down from that book, a couple of them spoke to my heart and they are: Couldn’t I have both? More of God and the life I wanted? If you’ve read my post Convicted, then you know I am looking down the barrel at these questions. This is what I’m facing right now. What did I do? I prayed and read the Bible and listened to what God was telling me. I started writing and wanted to share with you what I wrote.
     Can Christians have the best of both worlds, earthly and spiritual? Can we remain faithful to our Heavenly Father and have the best of this world? Can faithful Christians be rich, by America’s standards? Can faithful Christians be poor, again, by America’s standards? YES X 4!
    These questions are touchy and will bring a great debate among Christians and non-Christians alike. God will bless those who are faithful. The amount and type of blessing will differ family to family, and person to person. I think the deeper root to this is, are you willing to give up the best of this world, material things, to have the best treasures stored up in Heaven?
     I pose this question because as a whole, Christians tend to look at this question and shrug it off because we are doing “good enough” in our walk. Is “good enough” okay? We are raising a generation of children, who will one day run this country, to believe that good enough is okay. Everyone is great and a winner and there are no losers in life. This shows in their motivation (lack of), their performances, and just day to day living. It starts with us, the adults, we need to change this. This starts with our walks as Christians. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of “good enough”. I’m tired of being a “good enough” Christian. I have yet to find a place in the Bible where it says, just be good enough. No, walking into Heaven with no marks is not what I want. By golly, I want to round third base full speed, slide head first with arms stretched out, dust flyin’ in the air, reaching for home plate, givin’ it my all! Not to hear, “Good job my good and faithful servant”, but to humbly say I gave my all for you, God.
    Which leads me back to my question, if convicted to or asked by God, would you give up your idea of the best of this world for God? Would you stop working towards your goals and start doing what He has called you to do? “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-26) What’s your cross? What’s your anything? Could you, would you walk away from doing “good enough” to do what God created you to do? Are you working for one more dollar or are you working for the Lord, God Almighty? Are you willing to give up your wants and allow God to meet your needs? “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into this world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” (1 Timothy 6:6-7)
    Before you speculate, or criticize me for judging, let me share with you that this is not my intentions. My purpose is to make you think, are you allowing more of God and less of you in your life. It’s between you and God, not me and you and God. Your walk is YOUR walk, I pray I encourage you in your walk with God. My walk, as it should be, is a learning process. I’m not perfect, nor claim to be. I am giving up my goals to allow God to use me for his purpose. It’s not easy letting go of who I thought I was or what I thought I was supposed to do. I want the things of this world just like everybody else, but at this time I have to let go of that and focus on what my calling is. Taking up the cross and allowing God to have complete control isn’t easy. Writing this post and all the others hasn’t been easy. Slowly, and painfully at times, I am letting go of the me I thought I was supposed to be so I can become who I was created to be.  Can you have the best of both worlds? Yes, but make sure it’s because you are doing what God has called you to do and not just chasing the American dream. Enough thinking, writing and sharing and as always: Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you” Numbers 6:24

Suicide

     This writing business has been hard because when I feel called to share something I know that I must share it or feel horrible until I finally cave in and share. I will warn you this post will be lengthy but please read it...
      I’m not going to throw statistics at you about suicide because you have heard them and they don’t seem to affect us like the researchers think they will. We tend to think no one that I know would possibly consider that, or people who commit suicide show signs of not being happy. I can assure you both assumptions are wrong. When you hear the “S” word you probably cringe and feel sorrow for the person who took their life, their family and friends. What I’m about to say may come as a surprise to you and others may not be shocked at all. I want to share with you a portion of my past….

                I have struggled and fought with thoughts of suicide. When I hear that someone took their own life, I don’t have your typical response. Instead of asking why or how, I usually say it’s not as far-fetched as you think. I’ve received crazy looks for that comment. I don’t agree with suicide but since I’ve struggled with it I’m not as taken back as others when I hear of someone taking their life. Suicide is a weapon that the devil likes to use. It’s really effective and does the trick, which is to keep you from being an effective member of God’s kingdom. It’s not hard to start believing the fiery darts called lies that the devil throws at you. It takes a long time for negative words to fade. I’ve heard that it takes 100 compliments to replace 1 insult. To help you wrap your mind around this, think of someone who is constantly being put down or is in a bad environment, where negative words are thrown around constantly. It could take a lifetime of kind words before the person starts truly believing it. This person is an easy target for the devil. He will use this to keep them down. He has one job and that is to deceive you, so you can’t be an effective follower of Christ.

                Suicide is so prevalent in our country and sadly I predict we will see a rise because we are so engrossed in technology that we don’t take the time to have a face to face conversation with another human who can show emotion and give a hug when needed. Up to this point I’ve been avoiding sharing my battle with thoughts of suicide. Please, don’t feel sorry for me, I’m good now…just use this to help you or someone close to you. I hope it will change your idea of the person who considers suicide as an answer…

Before I begin: I never attempted suicide but the thoughts were there.

I was in a very dark place as a teenager in high school growing up in a step family situation. I was depressed and didn’t feel loved. I remember thinking how everyone’s life would be better if I was gone. I would get caught up in my thoughts and think how good life would be for my mom, brother and everyone else around me if I wasn’t around. I was too scared to take my own life, partially because I was told the cardinal sin is suicide, and hell is where a person would spend eternity for taking their own life. (I have a different view now that I’m grown) I remember thinking if I just went full speed ahead into a tree or forest that should do it and my life would be over. It sounds silly, but I didn’t want to use a gun and from what I'd heard pills didn't work. I also wanted it to look like an accident, that way no one would realize it was suicide. Time and time again I would have these thoughts, but slowly, and I mean slowly they have faded to a memory of a time when I was in a dark pit. These thoughts still had a grip on my life in the early years of my marriage. God was there though, and he didn’t give up on me.

When I hear people say how could they do that or they are so selfish, it hurts. I agree, suicide is a selfish act but not everyone is focused on themselves when they take their own life. Suicide is not easy to understand and should be looked at as spiritual war fare. I would like to remind or point out to you that the devil tempted Jesus, son of God, with suicide. “Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. ‘If you are the Son of God,’ he said, ‘throw yourself down.” (Matthew 4:5-6) The devil waited until Jesus was tired and hungry and then started his attack. The same goes for us, and especially those considering suicide. The devil waits until you are beat down with life and throws the darts at you. You are a much easier target when you are beat down. If the devil tempted Jesus with suicide then he will most certainly use it against us. Yes, even Christians, who better to attack than those who claim to believe in God?

If you are tempted with suicidal thoughts, talk to a trusted friend or family member, read your Bible, have others pray for you, and if you can pray for yourself. Pray that God would bind Satan from these attacks. No matter the line you have been fed, the devil is lying to you. You are loved, you are precious, and worthy in God’s sight. Please reach out to someone, if you feel you have no one, I’m here, message me or call and we can talk. I pray this helps someone. To those who don’t understand suicide, trust me when I say neither does the person who is thinking it or has committed it.  Why, because it is not truly them who wants this, it is the devil. Spiritual warfare is real, and the rules are completely different than those we are used to in this world. You have to prepare for it and dress in your armor. Read Ephesians 6: 10-17 and do what it says, daily.

My friends, you are loved, you are more precious than gold! Until next time, “May Yahweh bless you and protect you.” (Numbers 6:24, HCSB)