Great Expectations

    Growing up I loved this time of year with the holiday cheer. We had half the week off from school for Thanksgiving and two weeks at Christmas. I enjoyed being around my family, especially my cousins. I loved the magic that seemed to be in the air. I loved the music and the lights. I loved going to my grandparents’ house and helping them decorate for Christmas. I loved the crackle of the fire in the fireplace, the hot chocolate, and the smile on everyone’s faces. Then I grew up and people no longer met my expectations.

    I wanted to live in a Hallmark world with love, laughter, and good times all around. I wanted my world to be full of happiness and joy, but reality set in and I realized a Hallmark life doesn’t really exist. My expectations were set just a bit too high for others and myself. Life happened and the magic of Christmas faded with the passing of my grandmother, brother, and grandpa in addition to my kids growing older.

    I stopped allowing myself to enjoy the lights, the music, and the gathering of family and friends. I started focusing on all the negative things about all those personalities being together and allowing the hurt from the memories of loved ones gone to Heaven to consume my thoughts. I didn’t want to be happy, because I felt guilty, but now even though the hurt is still there I look back and smile. I want to be happy, and I want to experience the magic again. My life will never be Hallmark worthy because I’m not perfect and I’m not an actress, but I can take the time to create the magic I want this holiday season.

    Here I sit, with these thoughts running through my head: What if the only reason the magic faded was because of my expectations? What if I stopped thinking of what I hoped Christmas would be and started grabbing each moment and turning it into a purposeful time? What would the holiday season look like when lived out with a purpose?

    This time of year is tough, many people are alone or have lost loved ones and it’s hard to celebrate when our hearts are aching. I want to challenge myself and you to live this holiday season with a purpose. Let our expectations be that we serve the Lord by being his hands and feet and loving others. Call someone and ask them over, because we all benefit from just spending time with someone we care about. If you’re a baker, bake extra and share with those around you. Ask God to show you how you can be a blessing to others. Aching hearts and souls are all around; we don’t have to look far to find them. 

Challenge #1: Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him to move in our lives. 

Challenge #2: Love your enemies, do what is good and lend, expecting nothing in return.

Challenge #3: Do what is right, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.

    These three challenges will look different for each of us. This world is a dark place, but when is there a better time than the holiday season to penetrate the dark with your light. God is willing and ready to meet us where we are. Together, we can make a difference if we will let go of our great expectations of others and ourselves and allow God to be the great expectation. 

“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him, do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way by the person who carries out evil plans.” Psalm 37:7

Distracted

I looked up and saw hurt in my daughter’s eyes, it was then that I realized she had been talking to me for a while and was waiting for me to respond. I had no clue what she said to me, so I couldn’t respond except to apologize for not hearing what she had just said. After seeing the hurt in her eyes I told myself I would put my phone away when anyone was talking to me. I get distracted by my phone constantly. I want to check my text message immediately or scroll through Facebook and Instagram to see what others have posted. I like to look throughout the day to see if anyone has liked what I posted. Sadly, I will admit that looking at my phone in public has become my escape so I don’t have to talk to people. I’m an introvert, and the more people there are around me the more I want to hide or get lost in my phone. 

We live in a world with so many distractions. It seems the new normal is to be distracted by our silly games, or TikTok videos and ignore the people around us. It’s nice to escape from the reality of this dark world, but we are missing the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others when we choose to stay glued to our phones. What would happen if we got lost in God’s word instead of the rabbit holes on our social media accounts? Instead of clicking on the next video to watch; we turned the page of our Bible and read how we should treat our neighbors. 

I don’t think there has ever been a time in history when the entire world has the ability to be connected to each other, yet we are disconnected from those closest to us. We have amazing power at our fingertips to be informed, up-to-date, and serve others. We focus on the likes of strangers instead of building relationships with those who can touch our lives with their hugs and words of encouragement. We forget about the amazing power that lives inside of us as Christians. We never know when we can bless someone or be blessed. God will use us if we’re willing to not be distracted. If we’re going to be distracted by something; let it be that we are so caught up in God’s word that we can’t help but live a life seeking to be His hands and feet.

I don’t want to live distracted. I want to live a life with intention and purpose to God’s call on my life. So, I challenge myself to stay off my phone at certain times during the day or even take a day away from my phone. When I am in public, whether it be at a doctor’s office or at the store waiting in line I purposely put my phone away and pay attention to those around me. When I’m home I try to put my phone aside and focus on my family; especially when my kids and husband are talking to me. I want to make a difference in this dark world. I want to shine my light so that others can know God’s love. Let’s be intentional with God’s instructions on loving others and disperse the darkness with His light. 

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday.” Proverbs 4:18

 

Acceptance

 Acceptance: The action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You have to love yourself before you can truly love others”, and if you’re like me when I first heard this I had two thoughts. One, I can love others without loving myself. I'm doing it right now. My second thought was, how am I supposed to love myself when I’m not good enough? 

At some point, we have to accept who we are, whose we are and that the events in our lives created the person we see in the mirror each day. The best place to start learning how to love yourself and others are the Bible which is the key to unlocking the lock that holds the chains that keep us from being the best possible version of ourselves that God created us to be. After you have the key, you need to use it to unlock the lock of acceptance so the chains can be loosened and unraveled, essentially setting you free. God knows I’ve always struggled with feeling like I was good enough, but He has been working on me. 

Three years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I looked good and I felt good. I was eating healthy, working out, and had plenty of energy. I was strong, both physically and mentally. I was proud of my hard work and dedication to my overall health. Then out of nowhere, or at least it seemed that way; I hurt my back. I couldn’t move without being in severe pain. I was out of work for a week, and once I returned I wasn’t able to do much. I shuffled to my room and desk and sat all day. I returned home, shuffled to my recliner, and was in constant pain. The doctors couldn’t figure out what I did, and a procedure was decided. During that time, which was four months, I started gaining weight and my mental health started to decline. My newfound self-confidence flew out the window as I watched my body slowly transform back into the person I worked so hard to change.

Over the past year, God has opened my eyes to my vanity and made me realize I need to accept who I see in the mirror, no matter my appearance. I need to love the person in the mirror no matter my weight, the color of my hair, or the circles under my eyes. Until I can accept the road I’m on and the person in the mirror I can’t live out my purpose for God. 

Within the last few months, God has shown me that I was becoming too prideful and turning into someone He didn’t want me to be. I wasn’t trusting Him like I should nor was I in His word like I should have been. My back being hurt was the second blow of three that would happen in two years. It caused me to go into a dark place and within the last year, I’ve been able to take steps with the help of God, my husband, and friends to step into the light.

The steps I’ve taken have been shaky, and scary, and I’ve stumbled more than once. God has broken me and humbled me, but at the same time, God is building me into the person he wants me to be. I’ve learned that God doesn’t see the flaws that seem to scream at me consistently throughout the day. He sees my heart. I’ve had to accept that God loves me no matter how I look, act, or feel. Once I accepted that I am enough, I am chosen, and I am loved; the chains started to unravel and I have never felt more free to just be me. Three steps you can take to help you accept yourself are: 

1. Pray for God to reveal His love to you.

2. Read your Bible.

3. Obey God…He won’t steer you wrong.

One day you will look back and see His unfailing love for you. REMEMBER the key to unlocking how to love yourself is the Bible. There you will find, just as I have found, how much you are loved. You have to accept where you are and that God loves you right where you are. Even if you don’t fully believe it, ask God to help you in your unbelief and keep taking those little steps forward. God will guide you the entire way.

 “You yourselves, as living stones, are being built into a spiritual house for a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2:5