I had no intentions on going on a mission trip this summer. It was completely off my radar because we have our house up for sale. I knew there would be no way we could save money to help with a down payment and me go on the trip, so I figured I could go next summer. Then the next thing I know I couldn’t stop talking to Nick about wanting to go on a mission trip and I even told him I want to go on one next summer. About a month before the team was set to leave that all changed. Nick and I went for our Sunday evening run and the urge to go on this trip kept getting stronger. When we would walk going on a mission trip is all I could talk about, then on the last run I was talking to God and I felt like I was supposed to inquire about going on the trip. As Nick and I finished our cool down I told him what I felt and he agreed that I should inquire if that is what I felt like God was telling me to do. By the time we got home it was an urgent need to inquire about the trip. I sent Jodie a text that explained how crazy it was that I felt like I was supposed to go on the trip and I knew it would be almost impossible because of how close it was for the team to leave. I asked if someone had backed out of the trip and that I would go if they had. Her response, which is not what I was expecting, was there is always room if you have a passport. I stared at my phone, frozen, for a split second and replied I have a passport. Jodie's response was, I have a spot. Again, I stared in shock at my phone, was God really telling me I am going on this mission trip?
As you already know, that is exactly what God was telling me. In less than a week my trip was paid for and all that I needed to do to be able to go on the trip was handled, all by God’s grace. I was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions and overwhelmed at how God worked on my behalf. I was excited to go but nervous too. As anxiety started to set in God revealed a verse from Isaiah that would calm me, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) I knew God was going to do something big on this trip and I was scared of what it would be. I prayed and had my mind ready, you see I was going on this trip to show others Jesus’ love because when it’s not about me OTHERS will know Him. Little did I know when it’s truly about others and serving God the blessings you get in return far outweigh what you are doing for others, at least that’s how it feels to me. The one thing I wanted to do while on this trip was to be bold and share my love of Jesus with others, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to do that since I am quiet and keep to myself.
The first opportunity to be bold happened Monday on the flight to Honduras. A teenage girl sat to my left on the flight and a team member, Laura, sat to my right. I wanted to talk to the girl, but I wasn’t sure what to say and a nap sounded really good. After we lifted off I took a short nap and didn’t say a word to the girl until we were descending. It wasn’t a talk about God, but God was working. I had a simple conversation, that I started, with a stranger. For many people, like my husband, this is not a big deal but for me it was a big deal. The boldness I prayed for came in a simple conversation that day and led to me having more confidence. That conversation started knocking down walls and opening doors that I didn’t even know was there. The next day the boldness continued, as I mentioned in my last post we met BB, and I couldn’t wait to introduce myself to her. Unlike all the times before when meeting someone new I wasn’t nervous and the conversation came naturally as we were both pushing kids on the swings at the school we were visiting that day. It didn’t take long for me to realize I had made a new friend, and was amazed at how easy that conversation had been. I also took the time to visit with the teacher, yes the little bit of Spanish that I knew allowed me to talk to her and share a few smiles. In one day I had initiated two conversations with two different people that I had never met before and I was in shock at the boldness God had granted me. That same night, Cherie received some news and was understandably upset. When we went back to the bunk house she headed upstairs to her room and I followed. God was prompting me to go share my story with her, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to. After some time of wavering I gave in and knocked on her door and asked if she was up for a talk. That night after only knowing Cherie for a whole two days I shared part of my story with her. I honestly felt like I was rambling more than anything, but that night I made a friend and a little more of my brokenness was made whole.
As the week went on I spoke more and even joked around with the group, my walls were down and God was working. Then came the night that we shared our stories, I shared mine with the group and how the trip helped me find me, I didn't know I was missing. I of course broke down in tears, completely embarrassed, but as I finished others started sharing words of encouragement and the healing and the transforming power of God took place. I went to bed that night excited for what was ahead in Texas but nervous as to how people would respond to the “new” Kim. As with all changes you need a friend to hold you accountable, and so Jodie stepped in and said I will hold you accountable to be this new Kim. I’m so thankful for her and for her willingness to hold me accountable, because it would be so easy to go back into my shell and stay there. In all honesty I pray she never has to call me out because I really like the new me. I know there will be bumps in the road and days where I would much rather stay in bed or revert back to how I was but my prayer is that I won’t stay there for long and that I will remember this verse “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”(2 Timothy 1:7 NLT) As the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months I pray that I never forget the way God moved in Honduras, not just in me but in others as well. God willing I will go back and go on different mission trips too. A special shout out to my mission trip team for embracing me and helping me see who God wants me to be, much love to you all!! Until next time, remember :“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
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