Reflecting on 2015

My word for 2015 was trust. At the beginning of last year when God put that word on my heart I had no idea what my journey would be or just how much I would need to remember that little five letter word. As I sit here reflecting on 2015 tears come to my eyes, partially for the joy and partially for the pain. Overall, 2015 was a year for many firsts and hopefully not lasts, not yet anyway. I had my highs and lows just like everyone else, but unfortunately my highs are directly tied to my lows. I’m finally at a point that I can look at them as two separate things, but it hasn’t been easy getting there. 2015 started out with a bang, a lot of hope and excitement and that’s where I’ll start my list with you:

January: I was writing my first children’s book

               Nick and The North End were preparing for a CD release party

February: CD and Children’s book released

March: Family first-went to Fort Worth Zoo over spring break

Late May: No longer writing children’s books

June: Alex: first time to go to church camp and first time to go to a week long camp in

          Dallas/Ft. Worth

         Bekah: first time to go to UT Tyler softball camp

July: Family road trip across Texas (first time)

August: I was hired to teach at New Summerfield (loving it, in case you were wondering)

September: Nick is no longer the drummer for The North End

November: David and Vals’ 40th Wedding Anniversary

                  Alex gets Sapphire (his dog)

December: God has started preparing us for what lies ahead for 2016.

I pick up where the lists stops, right now, December 31st sitting here trying my best to focus on the good and not the bad (sad) of 2015. God knows I struggled with my little five letter word -trust- ended up not being easy and certainly not little. I learned to trust God when my path no longer made sense and more importantly I learned to trust him and to not try to make sense out of everything that was happening. Sometimes it’s best to just trust that God knows and he knew what was going to happen and walk away, no matter how deep you are hurt. I’ve done some serious soul searching during my time off from work. Just in the last couple of hours I asked Nick what is one thing I can work on this next year to be a better person, mom and wife. I challenge you to ask someone who you love and can count on to be honest with you the same question. It might hurt to hear the truth, and I dare say this, only ask if you’re willing to truly work on whatever it is they say. Over the past week I have asked God to reveal to me what my word will be for 2016, have you? I have an idea what my word is, but I will not share it with you until I am certain of it. As we turn the lights out on 2015 and shine the light on 2016 remember whatever lies ahead that God is there, you can trust him and he has great plans for you.

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Until next time, remember : “The works of His hands are truth and justice; all His instructions are trustworthy.” (Psalm 111:7)

Security Blanket

Security Blanket

This Christmas one of the things that the media focused on was “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, but not the whole movie. The focus was on Linus dropping his blanket when he told the true meaning of Christmas. I, along with my family, had not noticed that Linus drops his blanket and the exact moment he quotes this scripture, “And the angel said unto them, ‘fear not ...” (Luke 2:10 KJV) This one moment made me think about my security blanket. As you read this post I ask you to consider what is your security blanket.

We all have a security blanket, it may not be a physical one like Linus carries, but we have one maybe more. I know, it sounds like I’ve jumped off the deep end, but hang with me for a few minutes. As kids we all had something that we felt kept us safe, it could have been a blanket, or a toy, or maybe just being at home with your family. My security blanket even into high school was my jacket. My jacket kept me warm when I was cold, which for me was majority of the year, it also hid my figure. No one could really see what I looked like when I wore my jacket and that allowed me to be me and not worry what others thought of me. What was your security blanket as a kid?

We outgrow those blankets or in my case jacket but they are replaced with other “blankets”. What is your security blanket as an adult? What are you holding onto so tightly that you fear letting it go? That fear, my friend, is your security blanket. The two don’t seem to relate, but just like a child with a blanket, we hold tightly to the things we are afraid of losing. I will ask it this way, what are you afraid of losing? Is it your family, friends, financial security, house, jobs, cars, reputation? The things I just listed are all blessings from God, so we can trust him to do what’s best for us. By holding on to these things we are not trusting God, but when we let go of our blankets we let go of our fear and put our trust back in God.

We need to acknowledge what it is we are holding onto so tightly and let it go. We need to hand our blankets over to God. I’m sure he has a huge linen closet for all of our blankets. Even if you have to give God your blanket every morning, or several times a day, he will gladly hold it for you. God will even carry it for you and eventually, after giving God your blanket over and over you will stop taking it back from God and God can put it in his linen closet to stay. The Bible says, “do not be afraid.”, 365 times once for every day of the year, and I'm sure you have heard that before, so every morning shaking hands and all give God that fear. God knows we all have security blankets, and we are scared to let go of them for fear of what might happen. When we let go of our blankets, we let go of our fear and we will learn that we can truly trust God.

I’m still learning to let go of my security blankets, yes that is plural. We may outgrow our security blankets as kids, but we will never outgrow our need for the one true security blanket-GOD.  Until next time, remember : “The works of His hands are truth and justice; all His instructions are trustworthy.” (Psalm 111:7)

In case you missed it, here is the clip of Linus telling the Christmas story. Watch closely to see him drop his blanket.https://youtu.be/LxaG0ZrwJ5k