One Word: 2019

A glimpse of the past four years and my one word. In 2015 my word was trust and I learned to trust God more as mine and Nick’s lives were roller coasters that year. We both were in amazing projects that we thought would last longer than what they did, but in the midst of not understanding the why we trusted God. In 2016 my word was different and I lived differently in order to make a difference. This was the year that I went on my first mission trip and fell in love with missions. I grew a lot in my faith and as a person in 2016. In 2017 my word was bold and this year I struggled emotionally and physically. I became bold in speaking the truth about how I was feeling and sharing even my struggles with others. Being bold doesn’t always mean that we have to do something daring, but it does mean that we do something out of our comfort zone.  
Which brings me to 2018 and as much as I would like to just focus on 2019 I have to let go of the past so I can move forward. I would like to say that 2018 was a great year, but it was an average year. There was not a big event that drastically changed me, but instead it was the little things that opened my eyes to the changes that I need to make for 2019. So my year of focusing on others turned out to be a year of focusing more on my family and not others around the world as I thought and hoped it would be. My hopes of going on more mission trips was slashed every time I prayed about going on one God said no and with a broken heart I accepted his no. I wanted to be about others, but what God was telling me was the others he wanted me to focus on was my family. As my focus shifted from my view of others to what God wanted me to focus on my heart healed and I purposely spent time with my husband, my son and my daughter. As 2018 was in its final months, I published a book and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for 2019 concerning the book.
My word for 2019 is still as in be still. I honestly am not happy with this word. I want to do more than be still. I want to take on the world and make a difference for the kingdom. As I prayed for my word, and prayed some more because I wanted to be sure that still was really the word God was giving me, God revealed to me why he wanted me to be still. The first thing God showed me was this year is going to be full of changes. There have already been some changes that I am adjusting to concerning my grandpa and the other change is my son will be joining me Arp JH. As the year progresses I will have a freshman and a 7th grader and my already busy life will become even busier. I am excited to see those changes and praying for my children as we all know these years are not the easiest to get through. He not only wanted me to realize that but God also showed me how much I have been trying to control situations in my life instead of just being still and letting God work things out for me. He wants me to be still and allow Him to work in my life in all areas instead of me trying to force things to happen, for example my book interview that is coming in February. I’m not sure that I want to be still for a whole year, but I am sure that I want God in every situation that I face throughout the year, so if that means being still then I shall be still.
2019 will be a year of being still and not moving until God gives me the go ahead. A year that as I face many changes I will focus on The Word and allow Him to work. I wearily welcome the new year because of the fear of change, but I am blessed to live to see another year and I am excited to see how God works and teaches me to be still. We all know the verse, “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”. (Exodus 14:14 NIV), but I like the New Living Translation version : ”The Lord himself will fight for you.Just stay calm.” He wants me to stay calm as I face these changes and allow him to do the work. He has revealed three more verses to me and those are as follows:

Psalm 37:7 - Be still in the presence of the Lord,and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

Psalm 62:5 - Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.

Job 6:24 - Teach me, and I will keep quiet. Show me what I have done wrong.

I believe that as we focus on God’s word more we see the wrongs that we have done and those wrongs that we do and we are more likely to change when we spend time in God’s word. As I spend time with God and wait for Him to work things out for me I pray that my heart will change and I will continue to grow spiritually. I want to trust God so that I can be different while being bold to make a difference for others all while being still. May God bless you in 2019! As always thanks for reading.

I want to share this song with you as I found it while praying about my word.

HillSong United: Be Still

https://youtu.be/H7pJb49vVQY

Today

     Pack your bags and let's hit the road. We would drive 4 hours north of here and arrive at our destination tucked into the forest of Oklahoma. A hallmark style cabin with the beautiful colors of fall bringing out the beauty of the state and our home for the week. The campfire and the hikes with my family were great memories, but this year, we decided to stay home. We wanted to save money and be around our loved ones. 

     Little did we know how much we needed this time at home. As the year draws to a close I am more aware of how little time we actually have with our loved ones and we need to make every effort to spend time with them, especially the holidays. Our kids are getting older and while they will both still be at home for several more years the time is coming when they may not be home for both holidays or one, or neither. Likewise, our parents aren't getting younger, and although we hope that God blesses us with many more years with them we aren't promised that we will see them tomorrow. Why so sad?  

     I'm not trying to be sad or bring anyone down. It's a fact, it's reality and was proven to our small community several times over this past month. The longer I live the more I realize the importance of living in the moment and enjoying the life I have right at the moment, and not the one I used to have or the one I might have in the future. So, that is what we have done this week. I have enjoyed dinner with a friend, taking my preteen girl Christmas shopping, dealing with a moody teenage boy, and spending time in prayer with my husband. That's a glimpse of my week, but what about today? 

     Today, I woke up and started my rolls then enjoyed my cup of coffee. I talked with my husband about the small things. Then scrolled through Facebook, wished some family and friends a Happy Thanksgiving and worked on my rolls some more. I was patient with the rolls, I let them rise and did not rush the process. I loved on my kids, spoke life into them, and loved on my dogs. I finished baking the rolls and the green-bean casserole. We all showered and headed to my in-laws. We were greeted with warm hugs from family, blessed the food, prayed for those hurting from recent loved ones gone too soon and those who are sick, we thanked God for our many blessings and we ate. We visited about our everyday lives, shared memories and laughed. After we ate, we took naps, watched football, and went for a walk around my in-laws neighborhood. Even my teenager decided to join us, and I was thrilled he wanted to go even if he didn't say much. I've had more hugs from him today than I have in awhile which makes my heart full, as those are few and far between lately. We ate another plate full of yummy Thanksgiving day food that is reserved for this time of year and shared more memories. 

     As our time with family came to an end, we packed up the left-overs, and drove towards home, not only was my stomach full but my heart was just as full. This Thanksgiving day was full of special memories and normal mundane moments, but to be able to spend time with my family is what filled my heart. It's not about me but it's about others. What makes them happy, what truly matters, what will we remember as our last chapter is written? It's not the things we have, but the people we have in our lives. Our loved ones and the memories that we make with them that will live on forever. I pray your heart was filled with love today. 

What is wrong with this world?

Over and over again I hear the question what is wrong with this world. There are, of course, many theories or answers depending on how you want to view the problem. The one answer that I hear repeatedly is we need God. While I completely agree with this answer; I have a thought that I want to share and maybe it will provoke you to do something as well as me.

The world seems to be getting worse, falling a part, spiraling out of control right in front of our very eyes. The truth is, it is and that is what is supposed to happen. The Bible tells us the ends times will be one of wars, people having no morals, and putting themselves before others. Folks, we are there! The problem isn’t the people who don’t know God, the problem is the people who know God. Before you get offended let me explain….

As Christians we know that as the end times get closer the world will be a miserable place to live in, hence the Devil himself will have ramped up his evil ways. That is exactly what is going on right now, so to answer the question, ‘What is wrong with this world’, it’s the Devil. He is running out of time on this Earth and will soon be put where he belongs,but before his butt whoopin’ he is going to wreck havoc on this Earth, cause as much turmoil as he can, destroy as many people, businesses and especially churches as he can, before the return of Christ. As the return of Christ draws close it will seem as if nothing is getting better. We will all feel as if there is no hope, but we have to remember we have HOPE in our SAVIOR. He has not forgotten us, and he will return to bring his children home.

How is the Devil ramping up his evil ways the Christian’s fault? It’s not, but when we sit back and do nothing it is our fault. What can we do, you ask? Share the good news, share the hope that you have. What does that look like? Invite people, not just your friends to church. Talk about your church and what they do. Pray for others, people you know and people you don’t. Go on mission trips. Support missionaries; these people have given up the comforts of “home” to share God’s love to the lost around the world, and the least we could do is sacrifice a little something to help them. Don’t have money? PRAY Prayer is the most powerful help we could give because  God is on the other end.

We can no longer sit back and act as if nothing is happening. If I wasn’t a Christian, I would look at my Christian friends and wonder if what they believed is real. The majority of us sit back and act as if  God/Devil, Heaven/Hell is just a story; as if it’s not real. How dare I say that! Well, it’s true and I’m speaking of myself too, but how sad is it that something we believe so full heartedly in we don’t share with those we know don’t share our beliefs. Yet, we sit by and watch people we know, that we work with, that we do life with go about their day and never mention the ONE thing that will effect our eternity. Why? Why would we do this? It’s not because we our self-centered or is it? We are more concerned about how those people will think of us if we say something that might offend them, but what if they are just waiting for someone to talk to them? What if they just needed someone to say, can I pray for you? Will you join me at church?

We are ALL called to be disciples of Christ. Yet, many of us go to church and go home. That is the extent of our discipleship. As the world spins out of control, because the Devil will continue to ramp up the evil, we can no longer sit back and do nothing. We must get over our pride, and remember we have the same power in us that raised Jesus from the grave. No, you may not be able to travel the globe to share God’s love, but you can share God’s love with your world. “Then He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation.” Mark 16:15

What If?

 I have spent the majority of my life, yes; even my childhood, asking “what if”. As I sit here this morning I find God whispering to me to stop worrying about the what ifs and trust Him. The problem is I am struggling with wrapping my mind around what the future holds. What does it look like and where will I be? Is it going to go the way I want it to? Will I be what I thought I would be when I look back over the years as my time on this Earth comes to an end? My biggest struggle and what has kept me from pursuing so many things in my life are these questions: “What if I fail? What if I look like a fool? What if I’m just not as good as I thought I would be? What if I’m not enough for whatever task is at hand? The list continues but I think you get the point.

 If you are like me all your what ifs are negative. Reread my what if questions. Did you notice it was all the bad things that could happen? Not one question was focused on the positive outcome.  What would happen if I changed those questions to this: what if I was successful? What if I looked wise? What if I’m better at this than I thought I would be? What if I am enough for whatever task is at hand? It is much easier to focus on all the things that could go wrong instead of all the things that could go right. All those negative what if questions come from fear and as the song says, “fear is a liar.” Satan wants you to focus in on the what if questions to keep you from reaching your full potential. He wants to keep you right where you are, knock you backwards, or even knock you down and keep you there.

 I imagine God is saying this, “Oh, but my child what if you fly?” God wants much more for us than we can fathom, but we’re content with what we have. Why? There is no way that our minds can grasp the full power we have in God and what we are capable of so we just settle for what seems to be good. My heart has been unsettled lately. I feel like God is calling me, wanting me to do something, but I’m not sure what it is and while I’m waiting for that answer I’m getting frustrated. I ask myself the what ifs, and then let myself believe the lies that I couldn’t do whatever it is God has called or is calling me to do. The truth is, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

What if I let go of all the negative what ifs and allowed the positive what ifs to play out in my mind and in my life. What if I let go and trust God to do what He has promised. No matter the outcome, God is still on my side. He is fighting for me daily, for He is the God of Angel Armies. He is fighting every battle that I face and even those that I am unaware of. Letting go is scary to me because I don’t like to start things that I am not 100% certain that I will be successful. I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to fall. I am afraid of what others will think if I fail and fall. I am afraid of what tomorrow holds. How long will I let this fear control me?

No more stinkin’ thinkin’! I’m going to allow God to use me, no matter what that looks like. It’s scary because those negative what ifs could come true, but so could the positive ones. I’m working on positive thinking and knowing that God is for me. My prayer lately has been, “God, create a pure heart in me, and renew a right attitude within me.” (Psalm 51:10 ISV) I have not read that version before, and I like the ending. Renew a right attitude within me, meaning I want the right attitude about the things that I face throughout my day. Will you join me? Will you let go of your what ifs and trust God to do great and mighty things through you? What a difference it would make if all of us stopped allowing fear to keep us in bondage. Always remember, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,and your ways are not My ways.”This is the Lord’s declaration. Isaiah 55:8

It’s an old song but listen to DC Talks’ What If I Stumble?

https://youtu.be/kg6HedZ4xGs

Greener

I'm sitting here debating if I should write a blog, because it's been a while and it seems that I have written about this topic before, but God has put it on my heart and the sermon at church this morning was similar to what has been on my heart. That's usually a sign for me to write, so here goes nothing.

The book of 1 Samuel chapter 8 talks about Samuel telling the Israelites that a king would not be good for them and how he talks to God about them wanting a king. Samuel told the people all the rights the king would have, and try as he might to deter them from wanting to appoint a king over them; he could not convince them. "The people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said. 'We must have a king over us. Then we'll be like all the other nations: our king will judge us, go out before us, and fight our battles." (1 Samuel 8:19-20)

Did you catch the start of the last sentence? "Then we'll be like all the other nations..." How many times have we compared ourselves to others? How many times have you looked at a friend, family member or stranger and thought I want to be like them? How many times have you looked in the mirror and thought, why can't I look as good as ________? That phrase jumped off the page at me when I read it this past week during my morning Bible reading. I have read this book before, this story of Samuel and how Saul became the king of Israel, but this day those words struck a chord with me. How long will I spend asking myself the above questions? What can we do to make the change so that we won't continuously ask ourselves these questions?

First, we need to realize that comparing ourselves to others is only damaging our self image, our confidence, and keeping us from realizing the blessings God has so graciously put in our lives. We need to live in the moment, thank God for the life He has blessed us with, and accept that we are created in the image of God, not man. By this I mean, God created each of us differently, uniquely, and for a purpose that only we, as an individual can fulfill. As my Pastor said this morning, "there is only one you, don't cheat the world trying to be somebody else." Fill your mind with who you are, and whose you are. Who are you? You are a child of God. You are the daughter/son of the King. You are wonderfully made. You are worthy. You are worth more than riches. There is absolutely nothing that can keep you from the love of God. He leaves the 99 for you and that should indicate just how much you mean to Him.

Comparing is not new and like the Israelites; if we're not careful we will end up like others. We think we know what someone's life is really like, but we don't. We can only see what others allow us to see; which is typically their best.We have to stop believing everything others tell us and believe what God tells us. Just because something appears golden doesn't mean it's not iron painted gold. I heard a quote the other day on the radio: "The grass is not always greener on the other side if you water your own." We know the saying the grass is always greener on the other side, and what it implies, but what if we took this spin on the old saying and applied it to our lives?

Ask God to search your heart and make it pure. Ask him to show you what he has done for you and thank him. Stop playing the comparing game and be you. God knew what he was doing when he created you, so trust him and do you! Always remember, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,and your ways are not My ways.”This is the Lord’s declaration. Isaiah 55:8

Weight

 I want to talk about a sensitive subject, especially with ladies, and that subject is weight. I am not going to lie and say I have always had weight problems, I was small growing up. I wanted to be taller and weigh more so I could be a better athlete. I wanted to more strength, but that didn’t come until I was grown. Now, I do have a weight problem, you may look at me and say no you don’t, but I promise you, the doctors would agree with me. I am overweight, and ever since I had my two blessings from God my weight has been a constant struggle and always on mind.

    So, where does this struggle come from? Why can’t I just eat somewhat right and exercise and lose the weight? Genetics? Age? Want to? It is a little bit of everything I just said, but it has more to do with who do I see in the mirror. Am I happy with how I look and will I ever be happy with how I look? Sadly, we live in a world that portrays the perfect woman with no figure at all, and no flaws whatsoever. As we all know, this person does not really exist, yet we all strive to reach that perfection in some way. Thankfully, we are all built differently by God who lovingly created us in His image. So, what’s the key in losing weight and keeping it off and still feeling good about yourself?

    First, you need to set small attainable goals and do a little research. At the oh so tall height of 5’2 and with a small bone structure, what should my weight range be to be healthy? What percentage body fat is okay for me? These are the types of questions you should research. I would not recommend changing everything at once, because your body will revolt and make things harder on you. Start with something simple like taking a walk for 30 minutes three times a week, or drinking more water daily. Also, if you slip up and don’t reach that goal you have set for yourself don’t quit. Easier said than done I know, but you will not get anywhere if you give up on yourself. Losing weight, if done the right way, takes time. As a matter of fact, you should focus more on the inches lost and how your clothes fit than the number on the scale, because as you do more exercising your muscles will become bigger and muscle weighs more than fat.

    Second, you need to find someone who will hold you accountable. Whether that is a close friend, a coworker, or a personal trainer find someone that will encourage you to reach those goals, cheer you on, and give you a swift kick in the butt when you don’t want to exercise. This person will help you see the changes that are happening when you can’t seem to see anything positive about losing weight. Let me encourage you to not pick the “yes” friend, you know, the one who always says yes to everything you say. They will say yes when you don’t want to go for that walk even though it’s a beautiful day outside. They will say yes when you order that ice cream and Dr. Pepper and not make you think twice about it.

    Talking about food choice brings me to my next point. Don’t deprive yourself from what you are wanting to eat. For example, chocolate is my go to, I will go as long as I can without eating chocolate, but if I’m having a rough day at work and feel the need to eat some chocolate I’m going to. Why? For two reasons, one instant gratification and two if I ignore the craving it might go away, but I also have a tendency to overeat. So, instead of ignoring it, I will eat a small piece of chocolate to suffice the craving and go on. That way I do not go eat a whole bag of Hershey kisses or something crazy, and yes I have done that. Whatever your food choice is, it’s okay to give in every once in a while, just don’t over eat. Remember to keep your portions in control.

    The last thing that I would like to address, is how exercising will make you feel. You will feel better about yourself. Losing weight shouldn’t be just so you can look better, it should be so you can feel better. It has to be a lifestyle change, something that you are willing to do throughout your life so that you can be the best you that you can possibly be. You need to be happy with who you are not what you look like. I have found that I put too much emphasis on my appearance and beat myself up when I don’t look and weigh what I think I should, but what matters the most is what’s on the inside. How do I treat people? How do I respond when things go sour? Losing weight is great, but if you focus on it for hopes of making you happy, you are not doing it for the right reason. You will only be happy with the way you look for a little while, be sure you are happy with the way you treat people. When you look in the mirror, don’t judge yourself by what you see, but by who God sees. Don’t get so caught up in looking the right way that you forget to focus on WHO is leading the way.

    Will you feel better when you lose weight? Will you feel like you have accomplished something? YES! That is not to be taken lightly, but make sure you are not putting all your hope, all your expectations, all your drive into losing weight and looking fit. Don’t do it for vanity, do it for your health. Do it because you want to live life to its fullest. Set those goals and destroy them. There is nothing you can’t do with God on your side. Always remember, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,and your ways are not My ways.”This is the Lord’s declaration. Isaiah 55:8

Vision

Vision. This has been the key word in my Pastor’s sermons this month. It’s a great word to focus on as we start the new year, and like the majority of his sermons I have been forced to think on this keyword. Pastor has asked, “what is your vision, your vision for your family?” So, what is my vision?

      I already shared my word with you; which is others, but what about my vision. What does that look like and how do I make sure I live it out? My vision for myself, is to serve the Lord by serving others. I want to make my life about others, so much so that people know they can count on me when it comes to helping someone. I want to live a life that points others to Christ and leave a legacy that once I’m gone will continue on. So, what does that look like?

    It looks different for every person, because we have all been given gifts by God that are to be used to glorify His name. As I have sought God’s will for this year I know I will be focused on missions and writing. My job, teaching/coaching, is a major part of my personal ministry. When I look at each gift God has given me I can pray over it and see what doors He opens. The truth is even if He opens the door, I have to be willing to walk through it even if it makes me uncomfortable. God has put something on my heart, and I’m not sure how He is going to work in my life but one thing I know for sure, change is coming. God has blessed me with the opportunity to go on mission trips and I don’t see that changing. As I have mentioned, I am currently working on a devotional, and I can’t wait to see where God takes that project. My goal for this year is to have at least one new blog post each month.

      What about the vision for my family? As announced last week, Nick, my husband is starting a Sunday school class next month and my prayer is that we are able to reach others. God has put it on our hearts for years to be more involved and dig deeper with other Christian couples. This is no walking away from that being in God’s vision for our family. I’m not sure what the rest of our vision is for our family, but I know with prayer God will reveal it to us.

      A vision is great, but if you do not accept it and make a plan it will stay that...a vision. God has given us the ability to talk to Him to see what He has planned for us. I want to challenge you to seek His vision for you and ask Him to show you how you and your family can turn your vision into action. Don’t sit on the bench waiting to go in when God has shown you what He wants. He’s ready for you to be ALL in. Get out there, get in the game, play your best and give God the rest! He will do far more than you can imagine. DREAM BIG!!  As we go about this year may we remember, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,and your ways are not My ways.”This is the Lord’s declaration. Isaiah 55:8