Here I sit, wondering what everyone thinks about me going back to teaching. It's been about a year since I was convicted to leave teaching to start writing. I wrote, and wrote some more, and will still write, but things didn't go the way I thought. Maybe I gave up too soon, maybe I needed the year off from teaching because of the health issues I had, maybe I jumped the gun to leave teaching too soon.
So here I sit, listening to the voice in my head. The doubt, the shame, the what ifs...then I stop because a louder voice says: You are loved. You are mine. I'm not through with you yet. I smile, and peace settles over me.
This life isn't easy. Things happen and well, it's not easy to live on one income.... a teacher's income at that. It doesn't really matter what others think, but it does matter what God thinks. I'm not sure how He feels about me going back to teaching, but I can tell you I'm praying more than I was. I'm making a point to spend time with my family, which seems backwards. I am making every moment count as to when I was home, I wasn't, not really.
I feel like I have a purpose again, and look forward to how God uses this journey to mold me into who He created me to be. I'm not perfect, don't want to be, although I catch myself trying to be. The best feeling in the world, is knowing that God loves me and there is no shame or condemnation in Him.
Here I sit, more determined to be a better me, so that I can be someone's greatness. The one who lifts others up, who goes the extra mile, who really sees the person talking to me, the smile on a sad day. I was at a crossroads this summer, I picked one and I will walk down it with my head held high, knowing that with God all things are possible.
