A Void...Filled

“Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

    What I’m about to share makes me nervous because once again it means I am letting you in by allowing you to see another heartache of mine that God has turned into an overflowing blessing.

     Allow me to give you some of my history so that you can see the blessing more clearly. When I was in high school I had a wonderful best friend; we did everything together. I was allowed to go on vacations with her and her family. We were able to finish each other's sentences and with one look knew what the other was thinking or feeling. When I went off to college that slowly started to change and by the time I married my husband our friendship was strained. Shortly after having her first child, we no longer talked; living hours apart had taken its toll. There was heartache in the loss and I was looking for a friend; a best friend.

    I believe God created us to need people, we need the interaction and more importantly we need to feel loved. God created marriage to give us a help mate for life and he also wants us to develop friendships that will last a lifetime. In today’s world with social media and everyone feeling the need to cram all sorts of events into their schedule to stay busy it’s hard to find a friend much less a best friend.The odds are stacked against you and to make it worse I was not from this area so I could not relate anyone. I can not tell you how many tears I have cried over the past 13 ½ years of my marriage because I did not have a bestfriend; someone who accepted me for me, who wanted to spend time with me even if that meant sitting at the kitchen table while I cleaned, someone who knew my thoughts before I spoke them. (Disclaimer: my husband is my best friend, and for that I’m thankful but a girl needs a girl best friend.) Within the last six years there were several friends who I figured would eventually be my best friend but for different reasons that was not the case.

    As the years passed and countless tears fell the feeling of not being worthy of having a best friend became a permanent thought. I was quick to think not only was I not worthy of having a bestfriend but there must be something wrong with me...I just wasn’t good enough and too weird for anyone to really like me. Three years ago I finally accepted that for whatever reason I was not meant to have a bestfriend and God wanted it that way. I still shed tears but if that was the path God wanted for me then I would accept it and keep my eyes on Him. I spent my time trying to be friendly to everyone hoping that someone would see that I genuinely care for others. As I focused on others the hurt of not having that friend faded and the thought hardly crossed my mind. The only time it hurt was when I would see posts on Facebook about besties; my heart still longed for a friendship like that but I knew it wouldn’t happen.

    Little did I know God was working on my behalf. Back in January our Pastor challenged us to lead someone to Christ or bring someone closer to Christ and I accepted the challenge. I was working at a different school that I am now and started praying for God to show me who it would be. As I prayed I felt led to talk to two of my coworkers and as the months passed it turned to one. Then out of nowhere that person pushed me away and I could tell things were changing. I began to realize that maybe this wasn’t the person God wanted me to help and sure enough I changed schools this past summer. In August I started working with the person I would bring closer to God, the person would break down walls I had carefully built, the person who would be the answer to the countless tears. As the school year began to have a routine my life would lose its routine and I couldn’t be happier. This person and I just clicked; she makes me a better person and God gave me my best friend. I’m so thankful that God knows what we need and when we really need it. No matter what you’re facing remember when you, “delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 I honestly thought I was fine but having a bestfriend has brought more joy to my life than I thought imaginable. Stay strong in your faith, walk obediently with God and He will meet your needs and bless  you with your wants according to His will. Until next time remember : “The works of His hands are truth and justice; all His instructions are trustworthy.” (Psalm 111:7)